Trouble Is
by broblovr1
Summary: Derek is upfront with Meredith from the beginning about being married and says he's going to get a divorce...and then Addison shows up in Seattle and plans change. MERDER NOT ADDEK!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. **

**Sorry for the delay in the beginning of this story. Unlike with my other ones, I actually have a plan for this one. But suggestions and ideas are always welcome. Enjoy!**

Derek Shepherd had never been the kind of man to break his word. When he was a child, his mother and father had taught him the importance of honesty. When he told somebody of his intentions, it was only fair for him to follow through. And still, he had done exactly the opposite. He had said one thing and done another.

The divorce papers had been drawn up. All he had to do was sign them. Sign them and send them to his lawyer and it was all over. His marriage that he had planned to end would be over. But now that it was actually happening, it felt different.

Different not only because of Meredith. He had fallen in love with Meredith. But ten Addison showed up in Seattle and all of the sudden he had to make the most difficult choice in his life. A choice he never thought he would ever have to make. Not only because he had expected to be with Addison forever, but he definitely hadn't expected her to come back to him after cheating on him with his best friend.

But his parents had also taught him the importance and the sacredness of marriage vows. Till death do us part, as long as we both shall live vows. The words they had said in front of hundreds of family and friends hadn't meant nothing. Addison was his wife. 11 years he had been married. 11 Thanksgivings, 11 birthdays and 11 Christmases. He couldn't be expected to just give that up just like that.

But Meredith. Meredith's face was all he could see and Meredith's voice was all he could hear. Even if she refused to speak to him and was avoiding him at all costs. He had told her the night they met about Addison. About how they were planning on starting a family and then Addison had cheated on him with his best friend Mark. And that it was unforgivable and they were getting a divorce.

And then things changed, which seemed to happening to him a lot lately. Addison showed up and he had a choice to make. He had to choose between his girlfriend and his wife. Addison or Meredith. Meredith or Addison. But it was only Meredith's voice he heard in his head.

It were her words from early in the day kept repeating in his head.

_Okay… here it is. Your choice, __it's__ simple her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But, Derek, I love you… in a really, really big… pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I'll be at Joe's tonight, so if you do decide to sign the papers… meet me there._

She loved him. What began with a one-night stand in a bar had turned into a relationship, or at least that's what Derek had told her it was. And that idea was only strengthened when Meredith had let him know exactly how she was feeling

And here he was at the same bar where they had met, watching her drink herself into a stupor because of what he had done. Or not done yet, but what he had said he was going to do.

"What's wrong with you?" Cristina asked, taking the seat next to Meredith.

"McDreamy has wife," Meredith said, downing another shot.

"You knew this already…why is it a problem now? Or are you finally coming to your senses?"

"She's here. His wife is here. She's beautiful and leggy and perfect and I'm me. And she's here. And now…" Meredith trailed off, laying her head on the bar.

""Speaking of McDreamy,"Cristina stood up, "He's coming this way."

"Dammit," Meredith muttered, slamming her glass down, grabbing her bag and heading out the door as quickly as possible.

"Aren't we going to talk about this?" Derek said, trying to keep up with Meredith.

"Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about."

"You said you loved me."

"And you chose to stay with your wife. Apparently what I said meant nothing." Meredith said, fumbling for her keys.

"Meredith…" Derek protested.

"No.You don't get to Meredith me." She said, pointing her finger at him, "You said, "I'm married. But I'm getting a divorce. My wife cheated on me and I don't want to be with her anymore."

"I did say that."

"And for some reason that ring is still on your finger," Meredith said looking down at his hand.

"I didn't actually make a decision yet. Addison's here but that doesn't mean I still want to be with her." Derek explained quietly.

"You could have fooled me."

"Just..just give me some time. I need some time to make a decision."

"Oh, you mean a decision that you said you weren't going to make?"

"Okay. You're drunk. Let me drive you home."

"I am not drunk. And you are not driving me home," Meredith said, before getting in her car.

Derek watched as she drove away, with not a thought on how to deal with the situation. He had been in love with Addison. Really in love. But this thing with Meredith. It felt different, it felt right. It felt nothing like he felt with Addison. And if he was going to make a decision between the two, he was going to have to figure out exactly how he felt about Addison.

"Oh geez," Derek said walking into his trailer, jumping when he saw Addison sitting on the bed,

"Addison, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Here in your trailer that you live in," she said, looking around disgusted, "Or here in Seattle, where you have a girlfriend?"

"Both" Derek said, slamming the refrigerator.

"Look Derek, I made a mistake."

"A mistake? You call sleeping with my best friend a mistake?"

"Yah know, you're not completely blameless in this Derek," Addison said, getting defensive.

"No. No, don't try to pin this on me."

"Well what do you want me to do Derek? I'm here. I'm trying to work things out. And you're off with your little girlfriend."

"Don't you even…you don't know Meredith. Meredith is…"

"You want me to sign the papers Derek, I will. I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with me."

"I just…I need time," Derek said to her, telling her the exact same thing he had told Meredith.

"Time," Addison said, nodding, "I, um, I'll be at a hotel, and just…try not to take too long."

Addison walked out of the trailer just like he had walked away from their life in New York. He had left New York expecting things to be simple. He would come to Seattle and start a new life. And he had done that with Meredith. After catching Addison with Mark, seeing her in Seattle was the very last thing he expected to happen. And here she was in Seattle. And here he was, with two women waiting for him to make a decision.

_**I don't know what I've done  
Or if I like what I've begun**_

**Read and Review!! I love reviews!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, I would know Patrick Dempsey. And currently, that's something I can only dream about.**

**If people don't like this let me know, because I'm not getting many reviews. I won't spend time on it if you guys aren't enjoying it. **

Derek hadn't slept all night. He had spent 6 hours tossing and turning. Going over and over in his mind the decision that he had to make. And now the alarm was going off and he had to go to the hospital where his soon to be ex-wife or soon to be ex-girlfriend were both working. Apparently, life hated him.

"Good morning, Meredith, Izzie," Derek said, attempting to be upbeat, as they all walked into the hospital just as the two girls came in.

Izzie just looked at Derek and shook her head before walking to the elevator and leaving Meredith with Derek in the middle of the lobby, exactly where they had been when Addison had showed up.

"Did you make a decision yet?" Meredith asked.

"I told you…I uh…I just need some time"

"Okay. Well until then, this," Meredith said gesturing between the two of them, "You. Me. It's over. Until you decide. Because I'm not going to be that girl. So unless it has something to do with the hospital, don't talk to me, don't look at me. Just don't…until you make a decision."

"Trouble in paradise?" Derek heard from behind.

"Always with the taunting."

"Make a decision yet?" Addison asked, echoing Meredith.

"No," Derek ran his hands through his hair.

"Then clearly I'm not as annoying as you say I am."

"Addison," he said, looking down at his wedding ring.

"I know. You need time."

"Yeah. I'll um, I'll talk to you later" he said, still staring at his wedding ring.

Whether Derek realized it right then or not, he had already made a decision. The ring on his finger. The vows he had taken in church in front of his friends and family. He couldn't just sign that all away on a piece of paper. As he looked down at the ring, he realized he deserved to give Addison a chance. The only problem was making this decision meant hurting Meredith. And the thought of her in pain made him sick to his stomach.

"Stevens and Karev, you're with the new OB, Montgomery-Shepherd, O'Malley, you're with Burke, Yang, pit and Grey, the other Shepherd," Bailey yelled through the locker room as she did everyday.

"Fanfreakingtastic," Meredith muttered, still hung over from the night before.

"Do you have something to say Grey?" Bailey barked.

"No."

"Good. Go save some lives," Bailey ordered.

"I'll switch with her," Cristina almost pleaded.

"I don't do switches. You know that."

"But…" Meredith tried to add.

"Go!" Bailey shouted, started to get angry.

Meredith thought that she had been lucky. She had been able to get away from him the night before but apparently wouldn't be so lucky today. She had a sneaking feeling that Derek had requested Meredith on his services just so that he could get her to talk about the situation at hand.

"Apparently, I'm your intern," Meredith said less than enthusiastically when she found Derek at the nurse's station.

"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't request you."

"Yeah that really helps," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Look, Meredith. I know this is going to be tough. It's not easy on me either. We just…" Derek tried to say before Meredith cut him off.

"No. There isn't going to be any of that. No McDreaminess. There is no we. Now, where is the patient you want me to see?"

"2215," Derek sighed, following behind her as she walked towards the patients room.

He had no idea how he was going to break his decision to Meredith. There just wasn't an easy way to tell your girlfriend that you were going back to your wife, especially after you had told her the marriage was over.

"He still hasn't made a decision. That could be a good sign right?" Meredith flopped down at the table in the cafeteria.

"I say you dump him and get it over with," Cristina spat.

"She's in love with him, Cristina." Izzie said.

"Just go screw someone else. That'll make him want you back" Alex added.

"I…" Meredith began until her pager went off, "Crap. It's 911 on Derek's patient. I gotta go."

The patient they had been attending to earlier in the day had been doing fine. She had come in after a car accident with a mild concussion and there was some concern of bleeding in the brain so they were keeping her overnight for observation. And now the patient was seizing and needed surgery.

Derek hadn't said one word to her throughout the entire operation. Mrs. Clark had needed an emergency craniotomy and he hadn't said one word to her since they scrubbed in. Usually when he was in surgery with her, they made conversation. He was her teacher. He let her hold a retractor or at least look at what he was doing but today, there was nothing. Mrs. Clark would be okay, barring any complications, but as Meredith went to scrub out, she had a feeling that the same couldn't be said for her relationship.

"You're staying with her" Meredith whispered as she dried her hands.

"She's my wife." Derek said, unable to look at her.

Meredith just nodded and walked out of the scrub room. There were no tears. There was no yelling. No anger. She didn't know she felt. She loved Derek. Loved him. She hadn't felt this way about someone since…well, she couldn't even remember. She had begged him to pick her, choose her, love her. And he picked his wife. He chose his wife who cheated on him over his girlfriend who begged him to be with her. There was only one cure for this weird sort of numbness she felt. Tequila.

_**Goodbye my almost lover  
Goodbye my hopeless dream**_

**I have a love-hate relationship with this. I just really, I don't want to say hate, but don't think my writing is all that good or that I portray the characters well. What do you think? Reviews!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I definitely don't own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, 411 would be on…right now. **

Meredith's head was pounding. She was sick to her stomach and she had no desire to get out of bed. Ever. Tequila and Derek were to blame for how crappy she felt. _She's my wife_. His words kept repeating over and over like a broken record. He had promised her that he was going to get a divorce. And then his cheating wife had showed up and he had decided to give her a chance.

"Meredith, are you okay?" Izzie asked as she filled her mug of coffee.

"No. Ya know what? I'm not okay. I'm in love with a man who has a wife who said he was getting divorced but now he's staying with his wife. So, no. I'm not okay."

"Oh. He made a decision," Izzie said sympathetically, "I'm sorry, Mer."

Little did she know, her day was about to get worse. She went to the locker room and changed into her scrubs with the rest of the interns just like she did every other day.

"Meredith, can I speak with you" the chief said discretely as the other interns got their assignments, "It's your mother. She fell and she's refusing to let the doctors look at her."

"I…um," Meredith stuttered.

"She has Alzheimer's. Why didn't you tell me?" Dr. Webber asked.

"She made me promise. I'll see what I can do," Meredith avoided anymore questions and headed into her mom's room.

"Mom? Mommy, you have to let the doctors do their jobs," Meredith coaxed.

"What the hell is she doing here? I told you never to bother me at work!" Ellis screamed.

Meredith walked backwards out of the room and closed the door, leaning up against it and trying to catch her breath. This was definitely not what she needed today. Not only would she have to deal with Derek and Addison and their back together wedded bliss, but she would have to deal with her mom, let alone the crap she was going to get for keeping the Dr. Ellis Grey's condition a secret.

"Grey, you okay?" Bailey asked.

"Fine Dr. Bailey," Meredith lied.

"You're fine. And I'm a cuddly puppy. You good to work today?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Okay. Then you're on scut." Bailey stated.

"I just said I'm…" Meredith protested

"I know you said your fine. But your mother is in the hospital, you've got other things going on and I don't need you getting distracted. So, scut."

"Scut," Meredith repeated.

A day of doing scut definitely wasn't going to take her mind off of the crap that the day had become. An awesome surgery maybe,definitely not scut. But she was a surgical intern. She had taken an oath to save a life. And even if her own life was in shambles, at least she could do something to save somebody else's.

"Dr. O'Malley, how's Meredith?" Derek asked eagerly when he saw George doing charts.

"Her mother just got admitted and you broke up with her. How do you think she's doing?" George slammed the chart shut.

"Her…is her mom okay?"

He knew that Ellis had Alzheimer's. Very advanced, early onset Alzheimer's. Meredith had confided that in him, despite having promised her mom that nobody else except her and the nursing home staff would know.

"She's really sick. She fell and she's refusing treatment. She has…"

"Alzheimer's" Derek finished.

"Yeah, how did…Meredith told you? Meredith told you and she didn't tell anybody else. And you still did this to her?" George questioned, "Bastard" he muttered under his breath.

"I'm sorry," Derek rubbing his eyes.

"You're sorry? Meredith, she's amazing. But you don't see it. You took advantage of her. You lead her on. And now she's drinking herself into oblivion and somebody else has to pick up the pieces. Don't say you're sorry. Fix it."

"Just take care of her okay?" Derek said defeated. George had now idea how he felt about her, how amazing he knew she was. But all of that was irrelevant now.

"Somebody has to," George muttered as he walked away.

Derek was thankful that Meredith had her friends to protect her. Especially when he couldn't be there to do it himself. He could deal with being glared at by all the interns in the hospital if meant Meredith was being taken care of. She was self-destructive and the last thing she needed now was to be alone.

"Can you believe him?" George asked taking a spoonful of yogurt, joining in on Alex and Izzie's conversation at the nurses station.

"Have you seen the She-Shepherd? She's McHot," Alex laughed.

"She's in love with him. Of course you wouldn't know anything about that, would you Evil Spawn?" Izzie raised her eyebrows.

"I need an intern," Derek said, approaching the three as they stood in the hallway.

"I'm with Burke," George scoffed.

"Bailey has me in the pit," Izzie said.

"I'll take it," Alex said despite the glares from Izzie and George, "What? It's better than doing sutures."

He had to find her. She, understandably, had been avoiding him all day, But had to talk to her. Not to explain his decision. It was too soon for that. But he had to make sure she was okay. It was killing him that he hurt her and now the mess with her mother just added to it.

"I heard about your mom. I'm sorry," Derek said leaning against the doorframe of the on call room where he found her..

"Yeah me too" Meredith stared straight ahead.

"I can take a look at her if you want. There are some new trials that…" He tried as he entered the room.

"Stop it Derek."

"Stop?"

"You're not my boyfriend. Stop acting like you care. You left me. You chose your wife. So just stop."

"Meredith…I care about…"

"Don't," she protested, and walked out of the room.

Derek sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

After visiting with her mom one last time before going home, Meredith realized exactly what she had to do. Reluctantly, she went to find Derek. If she wasn't going to have him, she would have her mom. And oddly enough, it was Derek who was the one who could help with her mom. She found him sitting in one of the conference room's typing on his laptop.

"Tell me about the trial," Meredith whispered as she quietly entered the room.

"Okay," Derek said with a sad smile.

Meredith listened as Derek pulled up a chair for her and told her all about the trial that he could get Ellis into. It wasn't a cure, but it was a way for Meredith to have more good days with her mother. And right now, she needed something good. She needed some hope where there looked like there wasn't any.

_**Don't you know that I'm your place to run?**_

**Again, I have a love-hate relationship with my writing. I think it needs a lot of help. But I do love the George defending ****Mer**** part. Don't ****worry,**** there won't be any George/Meredith sex though. ****You know what to do…READ AND REVIEW!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy does not belong to me. **

**Seriously? ****2 reviews?**** It's the holiday season…the season for giving. And what I want is reviews. Feed me.**

The last week had been hell and quite possibly the longest of Meredith's life. Her mom had been admitted to the hospital because of a fall, leading to the news about the infamous Ellis Grey having Alzheimer's spreading like wildfire around Seattle Grace. And then there was Derek and Addison. Back together, and walking around the hospital like newlyweds, at least Addison was.

"Maybe I should get a dog," Meredith said drunkenly, sprawled on the sofa in the living room.

"A dog is the last thing you need," Cristina pointed out.

"Why? A dog doesn't have a wife to leave you for. A dog doesn't neglect you and then get Alzheimer's."

"It's a dog, Mer."

"Exactly. Man's best friend."

"Okay," Cristina said grabbing the bottle of Jose Cuervo from Meredith's hands, "You've had enough when you start comparing dogs to people."

"Seriously? You're going to take away my liquor? My life is crap. My boyfriend left me. My mother is…my mother. And you're you. All happy and engaged. Give me that," she said, reaching for the bottle.

"Let's get this straight," Cristina sat up, "I'm not all happy and engaged. Burke wants this huge wedding. White dress, bridesmaids, caterers. I'm totally screwed."

"At least your boyfriend doesn't already have a wife." Meredith shot back.

"You're right. You win." Cristina gave in and handed the bottle back to Meredith.

A dog. How hard could it be to take care of a dog? She would feed it and walk it. And it would take her mind off of Derek. At least for a little while.

"How's Meredith doing?" Derek asked, handing George his patients chart.

He had managed to get her mother into a special trial for a new medication that could possibly allow her mother more lucid days. And therefore, more better days for Meredith. But that was the only thing they talked about. He didn't dare try to talk about "them" because the second he brought it up, she shut down.

"You do realize that you've asked me that every day for the past week?" George pointed out.

"Yes. And each day, you refuse to answer me." Derek replied.

"Then ask her yourself."

"O'Malley. I know your mad at me for what happened. But this isn't about me, this is about a man with brain injury whose life we have to save," Derek stated.

"Whatever you say…Dr. Shepherd" George mumbled.

He was still getting the cold shoulder from the rest of the interns, especially Meredith's roommates. Usually, the interns were interested in neuro cases. They fought over neuro cases. But when a patient had come into the ER that morning with nails in his head, nobody wanted anything to do with it and Derek had an overwhelming feeling that had something to do with his and Meredith's relationship, or the end of his and Meredith's relationship. Now George, who seemed to be the most protective of Meredith's friends, had unwillingly been put on Derek's service for the day.

"I've never had so many interns interested in cardio. Guess I can thank you for that?" Burke joked, clapping Derek on the back.

"Yeah, very funny," Derek mocked.

He was getting teased by his colleagues and snubbed by the people who worked below him. It seemed like the only person who currently liked him was Addison. And now he had to go see spend time in surgery with George, the person who was giving him the most hell.

"Have you even tried to talk to her?" George asked as they sat waiting for the CT to come up.

"We talk about her mother. The trial. But she won't really listen to me," Derek sighed, surprised that George even brought up the subject.

"Can you blame her? She's a mess. You and her mother. She can't take it. And now, she's getting a dog." George said, obviously unhappy.

"A dog?" Derek smirked.

"To replace you. And guess who's going to be the one picking up the poop?"

At least George was talking to him. He hadn't been able to get any information out of any of Meredith's friends and now finally one of them was updating him on what was going on. Even if it was to reprimand him for how he had hurt her.

All Derek wanted to do was help her. Take away her pain. The pain that he had caused. He knew that he couldn't give her what she wanted, or even what she needed. But there had to be something. Something to help her, something to make her feel better. Something to ease the pain that he had inflicted on her. There was only one way to get to her: use the elevator.

"So, I hear you're getting a dog," Derek pressed the close button before Meredith could protest.

"Cristina and I talked…and I'm getting a dog." Meredith explained.

"I love dogs," he grinned.

"I never had a dog. My mom wouldn't let me. She said it was too much work."

"I could help you. Pick one out I mean. Take care of it even. I had a lot of dogs as a kid."

"Derek…you can't…

"Meredith, please. Let me do this for you. It's the least I can do after…"

"What about Addison?" Meredith questioned.

"It's just a dog," he shrugged.

"Just a dog," Meredith repeated.

No matter what Meredith attempted to convince herself of, she was still in love him and that wasn't just going to go away. Not anytime soon anyway. And now he wanted to help her pick out a dog. He was being McDreamy. The man she had planned on spending the rest of her life with. But helping pick out a dog didn't change that he was still married. Maybe this would be more painful than she thought. Maybe agreeing to let him help had been a mistake.

_**I'm caught up and I'm hanging on**__**  
I'm **__**gonna**__** love you, even if it's wrong**_

**Forgot to mention, in my mind, Cristina and Burke are engaged. I don't know why, but it just fit with the plans I have for this story. Don't throw rocks at me. Throw reviews at me!**** MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy, the spoilers would be a lot different because there would be a lot of Mer/Der action coming up. Actually, there would be a lot of Mer/Der action all the time. **

**I hope everyone had a great holiday. I did! I got a Seriously? Seriously! t-shirt along with a couple other nifty things I needed. Anyways, I'm very disappointed that I'm not getting a lot of reviews. I'm sensing this story isn't very popular. I've started the next few chapters, but if I don't get a lot of reaction after that, I don't know how far this is going to go. But until then…enjoy!**

Derek and Addison were working on their relationship. They were happy. Well, happy as two people could be when one of them cheated on another with their best friend and then they decided to get back together because of the sacredness of marriage vows. Till death do us part and all that. But they were trying. Maybe not as successfully as they would have liked, but they were trying. They were in couples therapy twice a week, tried talking at home.

"What do you want Derek?" Addison asked.

"I don't know, Addison. I really don't know" he said, pinching the bridge of a nose like he always did when he was stressed.

"Meredith. You want Meredith," she whispered.

"Don't do that Addison. I chose you, didn't I?"

"Yeah. You chose me," she sighed.

"What do you want Addison? Tell me what you need from me. Tell me what we need to do to make this work."

"I want a family Derek."

"You said that when we were in New York. And then we both got busy.

"It's different here. It's…more peaceful. I really want a baby, Derek." Addison practically pleaded.

"Okay. Let's have a baby."

"Really?" Addison smiled.

"Really," Derek nodded.

"I have to go to the hospital and check on a patient, but what do you say we start trying tonight?"

They were going to try to have a family. A baby. A little life that would forever tie them together. Something that he and Meredith had kind of talked about when they were still a couple. Meredith. He had to tell her about this plan. He couldn't risk her finding out through the hospital rumor mill. Right now, being honest was the important thing if he wanted to maintain any chance they had of a relationship.

"Oh, hi…Dr. Shepherd," Izzie opened the door.

"We're not in the hospital. Call me Derek."

"Derek," she said awkwardly.

"I just brought some stuff for Doc," he said, holding up a bag from the pet store, "Is Mer here?"

"She's upstairs…Meredith! McDreamy's here!" Izzie yelled.

Derek winced at the use of his nickname.

"Derek?" Meredith asked as she came down the stairs, Doc running behind her, "What are you doing here?"

"I just thought I'd bring some treats for Doc," he smiled.

"What'd you get?" Meredith asked, as Doc ran up to Derek.

"Some toys and some more food. Did you make a vet appointment yet?" he asked, petting Doc.

"Yeah. I'm taking him next week."

"I can go with you...only if you want me to. He's your dog."

"He is half yours." Meredith said.

"Yeah. I guess so." he chuckled.

"So you never did tell me how you became such an expert on dogs," Meredith kneeled down, handing Doc a bone that Derek had brought.

"Yeah I did. I said I had a lot of dogs when I was a kid."

"Why did you have so many dogs?" Meredith smiled.

"We couldn't have just one dog for 5 kids. We didn't share very well. And I wanted a boy dog my sisters wanted a girl…That and Mark," Derek paused, "Mark ran over 2 of

them when he was learning how to drive."

"That Mark?" Meredith asked.

"That's the one." Derek agreed.

Meredith was silent for a moment and then burst out in giggles.

"It's not funny Meredith!" Derek tried not to smile at her infectious giggle, "I was devastated. I love dogs."

"I'm sorry," Meredith continued to laugh.

"Stop it," he said, starting to tickle her.

"Derek!" she squealed, trying to get away from him.

"No," he said laughing, "I'm not stopping until you apologize for making fun of all my dogs."

"I wasn't making fun of you," she giggled.

"Yes you were. Say you're sorry," he continued tickling her.

"It's funny. Der!" she half laughed, half screamed.

"You think it's funny huh?" he said, rolling on top of her.

"It's not….Derek," she said, his face inches from hers.

They're breathing got heavier as their faces moved closer together. This wasn't Derek's plan when he came over. He wanted to see Doc. And tell Meredith about Addison. But somehow it had turned to this. And now they on the living room floor, Derek lying on top of Meredith, their lips nearly touching.

"Meredith? Are you okay? Why are you…," George interrupted "…screaming?"

Derek rolled off of Meredith quickly and they both stopped laughing

"Hi George," Meredith said, standing up and fixing her clothes that had been messed up from rolling around on the floor.

"I didn't know what all the noise was…and Izzie and I want to order dinner and we wanted to know if you wanted anything," George said awkwardly.

"I'll be in the kitchen in a second."

"Okay," George quickly left the room.

"Addison's waiting for me so I have to…get going," Derek stood up, patting Doc on the head.

"Yeah. You shouldn't…Don't keep her waiting…She's your wife…" Meredith trailed off.

"So I'll see you tomorrow morning? Tiger Mountain Trail to walk Doc?"

"I'll be there," Meredith nodded, biting her lip, "You're turn to bring the coffee."

Derek nodded back, "My turn. Goodnight Meredith," he said, smiling at her as he walked out of the front door.

They had been dangerously close to kissing when he was tickling her on the floor. It was a good thing that George walked in or else they probably would have ended up forgetting Doc was even there. Doc was the reason Derek had been there in the first place. That was his excuse for going over to Meredith's house to talk to her about Addison. He was trying to be honest. And now all he was doing was trying to resist temptation.

_**See we still keep talkin' after you're gone.  
You're still with me then, feels so good in my arms  
They say you go blind, maybe it's true  
We've all got our junk, and my junk is you**_

**This chapter is mostly dialogue but I'd like to think it's good dialogue. I like this chapter. It's cute but you can sense heartbreak coming. I think. At least I can. But let me know what you think by clicking that cute little purple button and leaving me some reviews!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own the ****Enchanted**** soundtrack. But I don't own Grey's Anatomy.**

**Okay. I'm on an Enchanted high. That movie was FREAKING AMAZING! Maybe I'm bias because of ****McDreamy****But seriously?**** He's like that in every freaking thing he's in! He says radiation poisoning and it sounds good. Hell, he could say you're dying and it would sound good. I want him. I'm in love with him. ****It kind of hurts.**** Another thing that hurts is the lack of reviews for this story. It makes me sad. ****But on with the story.**

The baby thing was really going to happen. They really were trying to have a baby. They had tried the night before after he had gotten back from Meredith's and the near kiss. And they had tried again this morning when they woke up after Addison had found Derek out on the porch. This whole thing was weighing on his mind. He had to tell Addison about Meredith and he had to tell Meredith about trying to have a family with Addison. Both of them were going to be unhappy and he had a feeling that he couldn't please either of them.

"I have to go," Derek pecked Addison on the cheek as he sat up in bed.

"What? I thought you weren't on duty until 9." Addison pouted.

"I'm not," Derek got up out of bed and pulled his boxers and jeans on, "I have some errands to run before work" he lied.

"Okay. Try again later?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah," Derek feigned enthusiasm, "Later."

Later wasn't going to happen. He had a feeling that after he told her about Meredith and their new "relationship" she wasn't going to want to have sex with him, let alone be in the same room with him. They had argued about it numerous times. Addison always brought it up when they fought saying that he would rather be with her instead. And the news of him being, friends or whatever it was they were, wasn't going to sit well with his wife.

Derek wasn't the only one with a bad feeling. Addison had a nagging feeling that Derek's heart wasn't completely in this. He had agreed with her they needed something to bring them back together and that they should try to have a family, yet he still seemed disconnected. But he was trying, so she had to give him credit. They couldn't expect things to go back to being perfect right away, especially when they both had had other relationships. And one with a woman who, unknown to Addison, was still in his life

And now he was leaving his bed, where they were trying to conceive a child, to go see Meredith. To walk "their" dog that she didn't know about. He made up his mind that today was the day he would be honest. Derek was going to tell each of them what was going on. Clearly, that was the best way to go. He had been up front about Addison from the beginning. If he hadn't, he could only imagine what would have happened when his wife showed up. So honesty it was. And today, he would break the news to both of them.

"Alright, I'm going with Derek to walk Doc. I'll see you at work later," Meredith said, walking into the kitchen.

"What's going on with you guys?" Izzie asked.

"Derek and I. We um, we just, hang out. We walk Doc and he brings coffee. And sometimes…sometimes I bring the coffee…I guess…friends. We're friends," Meredith rambled.

"Do friends usually tickle each other and end up almost making out?" George piped in

"What is this? An intervention?" Meredith asked, starting to get annoyed.

"We just don't want you to get hurt again, Mer," Izzie added.

"I'm a big girl," Meredith retorted.

"Maybe you should, you know…not spend so much time with him." George mumbled.

"Okay. Well I'm a grown up. I don't need you two being my parents and telling me who I can and can't spend time with. And Derek. We walk Doc, we talk. I'm…over him. That's it. So…whatever," Meredith slammed the refrigerator closed.

She was angry. But not because George and Izzie were concerned about her. That was kind of sweet. Overbearing but sweet. She was angry because she didn't know what was going on with Derek. And because she was far from over him. And then there had been last night, on the living room floor when they had almost kissed. This relationship they had going had no name, no title. And it was bound to end badly.

"Here's your coffee," Derek handed Meredith a Starbucks cup.

"Thanks," she said, throwing a stick for Doc as they started to walk behind him.

"No problem," he sipped his own cup.

"Izzie and George practically ambushed me this morning" Meredith told him.

"Why?" he asked.

"Last night." she answered.

"Oh." That was the only word he could form in that moment.

"What are we Derek? What are we doing?" she stopped in the middle of the trail.

"We're friends." Derek said, not only trying to convince Meredith, but himself too..

That explanation would have to acceptable for now. There wasn't enough time to try to decide what they were. And friends seemed like the most reasonable description. Friends walked their dogs together and brought each other coffee. But friends didn't almost kiss on the living room floor. That needed another explanation.

"So does Addison know that you're here? That you walk Doc with me? That we're friends?"

"She's busy. Plus, she's never been that much of a dog person. She likes them but we never had enough space for one." Derek told her.

"What you're trying to tell me is your wife doesn't know that you're spending time with your ex-girlfriend?" Meredith asked.

"She's…a little preoccupied." Derek answered.

"With what? Delivering babies?" Meredith joked

"Actually, we're…trying to have a baby" he answered slowly.

Meredith stopped in her tracks, "A baby," she stammered, "I have to go."

"Meredith. Don't do that," Derek grabbed her elbow, trying to stop her from walking away.

"No. This was a bad idea," she said, "I have to go."

Meredith grabbed Doc and ran down the trail and away from Derek. She knew this odd relationship that they were carrying on couldn't continue like it was. Izzie and George had been right when they said that she was going to get hurt again. After all, what was going on between them was strangely perfect. It was like how they were before Addison showed up, but without the sex. And he was married. And was bound to end badly…it just did.

_**But I'm still living with your goodbye**____**  
And you'**__**re just going on with your life**_

**I deleted the intro and that is why the chapter numbers are different. Sorry if you're confused. I'm going to go watch CSI now. I have to take my cat to the vet tomorrow and I might see Enchanted again but hopefully they'll be another update tomorrow night, because I'm almost half done with it. Reviews please!!!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I wished Grey's Anatomy was mine. But that didn't come true. **

**I want to see Enchanted again. And I'm going to tomorrow! I don't think I could ever get enough of that movie. Just all the gorgeousness and the dancing and the singing…it makes me swoon. ****Seriously.**** It makes me swoon. **

Meredith had taken the news better than he had expected. She had run away, but at least she didn't scream and yell and hit him. And now it was time to tell Addison. The drive home from the hospital seemed like it took forever because of the anticipation of what he was about to. As he pulled up in front of the trailer and turned off the ignition, he almost left. But stopped when he realized things were just going to get worse if he wasn't straight forward. Seattle Grace wasn't exactly the best place to keep a secret and if Addison found out from somebody else she would be even more upset.

"Hey honey," Addison looked up from her book as Derek came into the trailer that night.

"Hi Addie," he sighed.

"You okay?" she asked, concerned by his tone.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just…You know...Long day," he sat down on the bed and rubbed his temples.

"Well I know something that will make it better," she came up from behind him, rubbing his shoulders and kissing his neck.

"Wait…Addison," he stood up.

"What's wrong?" she said.

"We need to talk."

"Talk? Derek, what's going on? You're scaring me? Is this about the baby?"

"No, it's not about the baby," he grabbed a beer from the fridge, "It's about Meredith."

"Meredith?" she shot up, "Derek, what the hell is going on?"

"Addison, relax. I'm not leaving you. It's just…Meredith and I, we had a relationship. And I'm not saying this because I want to leave you because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. And that doesn't just go away because I decided to stay with you. I can't just give her up. And I need you to understand that."

"You're in love with her? Then what are we doing here?"

"I was in love with her. But I stayed with you. Because you're my wife."

"You stayed with me out of obligation? You might as well quit while you're ahead Derek."

"That's not what I meant. I was in love with her. But you're my wife and I love you. If I wasn't in this Addison, I wouldn't be trying to have a child with you," he explained, kissing her.

"This is all my fault. Mark and…I'm sorry Derek," she cried.

"Addison. Let's try to make a baby," he tried to calm her down.

"Okay" she smiled, finally giving into his kiss and falling back onto their bed.

While Derek used the escape of trying to conceive a child to take his mind off of Meredith, she decided to go into the hospital early. Apparently, that was the only thing she could currently count on to not break her heart. Listening to Cristina talk about her upcoming nuptials sure did beat all of the bad news Derek had managed to find to tell her in the last few weeks.

"Burke wants me to pick out wedding cake. He has all these cakes spread all over the table and he keeps feeding them to me…like I'm some sort of…taste tester," Cristina complained.

"You are getting married in two weeks. He did the whole proposal thing and you said yes," Meredith chewed on her pen cap as she finished up paperwork.

"You're supposed to be on my side."

"Yeah" she agreed half-heartedly.

"Okay, What's going on?"

"Derek and Addison are going to have a baby."

"The She-Shepherd's pregnant?" Cristina asked.

"Not yet. But they're trying," Meredith winced.

"Oh god. Can you imagine a mini-Shepherd running around the hospital? I hope she's infertile."

"We're not that lucky," Meredith groaned.

"Derek's coming," Cristina pointed out as she turned around to face him.

"Excuse me, Yang. I have something to discuss with Mer…Dr. Grey." Derek interrupted.

"I think you've done enough McDreamy," Cristina said, getting in his way.

"There's an aortic aneurysm in the pit," Derek raised his eyebrows.

Cristina looked between the two of them, "Sorry Mer. You were going to have to talk to him eventually. Might as well get it over with."

Now she was screwed. Avoiding him the day before had been successful and she had managed to get Bailey to let her spend the day with her instead of being on Derek's service. She should have known that it was too good to be true. And Cristina was probably right. They were going to have to talk sometime so they might as well do it sooner than later.

"Meredith…" Derek started.

"I'm going to kill Cristina" she muttered, "What do you want Derek?"

"I just…need to talk to you. Give me five minutes. Please, Meredith," he put his hand on her elbow.

Meredith looked down at his hand before pulling away, "I can't right now. I have…stuff to do. Bailey, she has me doing…a lot of stuff."

"Fine," he conceded, "When you're done with all this stuff, will you talk to me?"

Meredith intentionally took longer than she should have to finished everything that Bailey had assigned to her. Bailey had definitely realized that Meredith was moving at a snails pace. But She had no idea what to say to Derek. Congratulations on having a baby with another woman even though I'm in love with probably wasn't the best choice.

"Wanna grab something to eat?" Izzie chirped as she came up to Meredith.

"I can't," she answered, as she typed a text message to Derek.

_I'm free. Where do you want to meet? _

"Why not?" Izzie pouted.

"I have a thing," she said, trying to get away.

"Meredith," Izzie suddenly turned serious, "Are you going to see Derek?"

"I just need to talk to him," she opened her cell phone as it buzzed with Derek's message.

_On-call room on 4._

"I think you two should stop whatever it is that's going on. It's not healthy, Mer."

"It's not that easy," Meredith sighed.

She left Izzie and her warnings standing in the hallway and headed up to meet Derek. Izzie was probably right. She had been right that morning when she said somebody was going to get hurt. She just didn't think it would happen an hour after Izzie had told her. But it was impossible to just stop and to just let go. It wasn't that easy. She opened the door to the on-call room and went in, waiting as Derek came in a few minutes later.

"So, you done with all that…stuff?" he leaned up against the wall in the on-call room while Meredith took a seat on the bed.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out.

"For what?" she asked, looking up at him.

"For everything. For telling you I was going to leave Addison. For hurting you. For springing the news about me and Addison trying to have a baby on you this morning."

"I can't do this Derek. I can't do this relationship…this weird limbo. I'm not over you. And it hurts too much. To see you and know that you're with somebody else. I can't do it anymore."

"You want the truth?" he asked.

"The truth? That'd be nice for once."

"I'm not over you either. But I can't just give you up, Meredith. I care about you. All I'm asking for is us to be friends."

"Friends? Seriously? You think you and I can be friends?"

"Of course. You'd be lucky to have me."

"I don't know Derek. There's too much water under the thing or whatever."

"Please Meredith," he pleaded, "Just give me a chance."

"Will you be honest with Addison and tell her we're friends?"

"I actually did that this morning," he smirked.

"Oh, you did?" she asked.

"Yes. I did. And she's…fine with it."

"Your ex-wife is okay with you spending time with your ex-girlfriend?"

"She's warming up to the idea."

"Derek…"

"Just give it a chance Meredith," he said, giving her their look.

"Okay," she agreed.

Meredith felt like she gave in much too easily. But when he gave her those eyes and said, "Let's be friends," she couldn't say no. Just like he had said about not being able to give her up just like that, and just like she had told Izzie earlier, she couldn't give him up just like that. Even if meant taking him and his wife as a packaged deal.

_**You know exactly what to do**__**  
So that I can't stay mad at you  
**__**For**__** too long, that's wrong**_

**Well, I got 4 reviews for the last chapter…let's shoot for 5 this time! (More would be even better!) Sorry to tell you but there's a good chance I won't have an update for a couple of days because I have plans all weekend so I made this update extra long. But we all know plans change. This story is kind of a great example of that. So who knows! Keep checking for new chapters! And keep reviewing! **

**xoxoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy, well, I'd be rich. And I'm not. I'm a poor college student. So Grey's Anatomy…not mine. **

**Just a little change – in the last chapter I said that Cristina and ****Burke's**** wedding was in 2 weeks…let's pretend I didn't say that and it's like a month or 6 weeks. I messed up. ****My bad.**

**Can I just say that Enchanted is even better the second time? ****If that's at all possible.**** I still spent the entire time grinning**** and wishing Patrick Dempsey was mine…When he sings, I almost burst****…Anyways, I've been getting a lot of feedback (which I greatly appreciate) about this not being ****Mer****/Der. It's going to be. I promise. I****t's coming ****within the next two ****chapters.**** So stick with me )**

2 weeks. They had been friends for two weeks and it was going surprisingly well. There were the moments when Derek would give Meredith their look and her opinion on the situation would momentarily change. But in general, things were going good. And now they were all at Joe's, getting drinks, just like they had been friends for years. Even Addison had decided to come this time, adding a little bit of awkwardness to the situation, but still, like they had been doing it for a long time.

They talked about the hospital and the interesting patients they had in the last week. Addison told them how she had operated on a woman with two uteruses and Derek and Meredith told Addison about a kid with a brain tumor who they had done awake surgery on. After all the hospital stories had been told, the conversation became more personal.

"We're friends right?" Derek as he sipped his scotch.

"We're friends," Meredith agreed a little confused, looking between the two of them.

"So if we tell you what we're about to tell you, you won't run away?"

"I won't run," she answered.

"Addison's pregnant," he said, grinning at Addison.

Meredith almost choked on her drink, "You're…pregnant?"

"Yeah," Addison smiled before noticing the shocked look on Meredith's face, "I thought Derek told you we were trying."

"He did…It's just…That was fast…Usually it takes a long time…But I'm happy for you guys…You're going to have a baby…That's…Wow," she said.

"You're rambling," Derek chuckled.

"It's just…you know…you haven't been…for that long and…usually people wait," Meredith continued as Derek laughed at her.

"Well, you're our…friend," Addison said, "So we decided we'd tell you."

"I um…I guess I should congratulate you," she gave Addison a small hug before turning to Derek.

"You'll be a great father," she whispered.

"Thanks."

"Should we…"

"Hug? That's what friends do." Derek smirked.

"Friends," Meredith said.

They both looked around before giving each other a hug. Meredith stayed there for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Derek's arms around her.

"You'll be a great mother one day," he whispered in her ear.

Meredith broke the hug quickly, "I'm going to get another drink," she said, heading towards the bar.

Jealously was the only word for the feeling Meredith had. Derek and Addison were going to be a family. A perfect family. Something that Meredith never had. And something that right then, she wish she could have with Derek. She shook the thoughts out of her head and took a seat at the bar.

"You okay Mer?" Izzie asked, sitting down next to her.

"Yeah. I'm just tired." Meredith lied.

"Okay," she chirped, getting up and heading back to the table with George and Alex.

"This seat taken?" Meredith heard, looking up at a guy she'd never seen before.

"Are you married?" she asked.

"No," the guy answered a little confused.

"Then no. It's not taken," she replied.

He was cute. He wasn't Derek. Derek was…Derek. But he was cute. And he seemed nice. Plus, he wasn't married so she was already off to a better start than she had been with Derek. Derek. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about her married, soon to be father friend when another guy was hitting on her.

"I'm Gabe," he said, interrupting her thoughts.

"Meredith."

Derek was watching from the other side of the bar as Meredith flirted with this stranger and all of a sudden felt sick to his stomach and some sort of unexplainable ache. He was sitting next to his wife. His pregnant wife, yet he couldn't get his mind off of the tiny blonde sitting at the bar, talking to some guy he had never seen before. He wanted to walk over to her and tell the guy to get lost. But he was married and Meredith was no longer his responsibility.

"So, you're an doctor?" Gabe asked.

"Yeah. Well, surgical intern," Meredith described.

"That's a lot more exciting than real estate."

"Right now, I'd love to have a job that wasn't so crazy,"

"You'd be surprised. Those homebuyers can get pretty angry if they don't get what they want. One time when I told a couple that they had been outbid, the wife got so upset she smashed a lamp that was in the house. That belonged to the current owners."

"Really?" Meredith laughed.

"Completely serious," he smiled.

They talked for a while, Gabe telling Meredith more real estate horror stories, making her laugh while Derek jealously watched from the other side of the room. Meredith could feel Derek's eyes on her the entire time she was sitting there.

"So do you work tomorrow?" Gabe asked.

"I actually have to go," she said standing up, "Intern. Rounds in the morning."

"Would you like to get dinner sometime, Meredith?" Gabe asked before she could walk away.

Meredith glanced over at Derek before looking back at Gabe, "I'd love to," she smiled.

It was time to move on. Clearly Derek was staying with Addison. They were going to have a baby. And Derek wasn't the kind of guy to leave, especially when there was a child involved. The only choice was to move on. And right now, in that moment, Gabe looked like the right guy to take that step with.

_**What do you say to **__**taking**__** chances?**_

_**What do you say to **__**jumping**__** off the edge?**_

**I hate this chapter. I think ****it's**** crap. But it's necessary. ****I just want to apologize for not having an update for a little while. I went out to the movies with my best friend who I ****hadn't seen in a while. Anyways, ****today was the Redskins**** game**** and I didn't go because it was cold and rainy but...THEY WON!! WE'RE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS!! Hopefully I'll have another update tomorrow because unfortunately, I don't have any thing to do on New Year's Eve. Add to my happiness and review!!!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I've dreamed I owned Grey's Anatomy, but in real life, I don't. **

**Happy New Year's Eve everybody! I have absolutely nothing to do tonight except dinner with my family because none of my friends live close to me. So here I am! ****Oh and I realize the timeline of this is going to be a little messed up and I apologize. I'll try to make a note at the end of the chapter if it's significant so you don't get too confused. **

Meredith had been seeing Gabe for about 3 weeks. He was great and he was a real gentleman. He wasn't controlling and let her have her life at the hospital without complaining about the long hours. They went out to dinner, watched movies on the couch, hung out at home with Izzie and George and he had even spent the night a few times. But there had been no sex. Meredith had told him at the beginning that she wanted to wait. She wanted to do things differently this time. Every relationship she was in had always begun with or been based around sex and she figured it was time for a change. And that was the last thing on her mind with Cristina and Burke's wedding the next day.

"You have to go," Meredith jumped up.

"What? Why?" Gabe asked confused.

"Because I have to go over to Cristina's first thing in the morning. Last minute stuff to do…I'll see you at the rehearsal dinner."

"Okay," he laughed at her panicking.

Meredith couldn't believe that Cristina had made it through the engagement with all of Burke's pestering about the color scheme, the church and the cake. Somehow, she had survived it. Meredith had listened to her complain about the endless meetings with the wedding planner, the dress searching and the taste testing that Burke dragged to her. And now the day was almost here. But before they could get to the wedding, they would have to get through the rehearsal dinner.

"I can't believe Burke is doing the whole rehearsal dinner thing. It's so…happy." Cristina complained.

"I can't believe Derek's the best man," Meredith said.

"Me either," Cristina agreed, "They were walking around the hospital like they were marking their territory and now Shepherd's the best man. I wonder what he's going to say in his speech."

"Crap."

Meredith had forgotten all about the speech. Burke had told her weeks ago that she and Derek were supposed to give a short speech at the rehearsal dinner. But with her relationship with Gabe and the news about Addison's pregnancy, the speech was the last thing on her mind. And now she found herself with a half hour to think of something to say.

"I have to go find Gabe," Meredith said, "I'll see you in there."

"Can't wait," Cristina groaned.

Meredith settled herself down at a table with a pad of paper and a pen, trying to think of something clever to say. It was about to come to her when she got interrupted.

"I've been looking for you all over," Gabe kissed her on the cheek.

"I was with Cristina," she responded.

"What are you writing?" he asked.

"Speech. Apparently the maid of honor has to give a speech."

"You didn't know that?"

"No. I hate weddings."

"Really? I love weddings."

That was strike one. When she and Derek had been together, they had talked about it. The hadn't ever actually talked about them getting married having been together for such a short time but they both talked about how much they hated weddings. Everybody always acted happy but you could see right through to how they really felt. Jealous that the bride and groom were happy and they weren't the ones in wedded bliss. Or in this case, wishing that they were with somebody else.

Gabe sat there for a few minutes with her before getting up, "Okay. I'll see you at our table," he kissed her on the cheek and went to get a drink.

The rehearsal was actually a lot better than either Meredith or Cristina had expected. They had only run through the ceremony once, thanks to Cristina pleading with Burke not to do it again and dinner had actually been pretty good. Of course, the rehearsal wasn't the part of the night Meredith was dreading. It was the speeches. She was about to get up and get it over with when she heard the clanging of a class, and looked over to see Derek standing up, ready to go.

"Preston, it's an honor to be your best man. Honestly, I was shocked when you asked me to do it. We've only worked together for a couple of months, but, I'm proud to say that you're my friend. After all, we've have been through quite a lot together. You're a great guy. I just hope that Preston and Cristina are as happy as Addison and I are after 11 years. And I have to say this has been the best time I've had being a best man, because the maid of honor has been wonderful to work with," he smiled at Meredith, "Congratulations."

Derek kept his eyes on Meredith as he sat down. He had to mention her. He knew exactly the effect that he had on her and now she was flustered and had to go up and give a speech that she wasn't at all prepared for. Everything she wanted to say sounded like crap compared to what Derek had just said.

"Those of you who know me know I don't do the whole speech thing and Derek…Can't really do much better than that but… I…um…Cristina's my person. We've pretty much been friends since day one of our internship. She's the one who if I killed somebody I'd call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. I'm just happy that she found somebody that makes her happy. She's getting her happy ending. We need that. Take care of her Dr. Burke," she finished.

Meredith sat back down, feeling Derek's eyes on her the whole time as Gabe told her how wonderful she did and Izzie told her that it was very sweet and heartfelt. As they finished their dessert, Meredith went to talk to Cristina but was stopped before she could get all the way there.

"Nice speech. Except the whole corpse thing kind of put a damper on the good mood." Derek said coming up from behind her.

"Very funny." She turned around to face him.

"It was good, Mer."

"Yeah. Yours was better" she replied quietly.

"Hey. You okay?" he asked, lifting her chin with his finger.

"It's just. You know…Weddings."

"I know."

"What are you talking about?" Addison interrupted, putting her arm around Derek's waist.

"Just wedding stuff." They said in unison.

"Okay," Addison said curiously, "You ready to go?" she asked Derek.

"Yeah. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Derek asked turning to Meredith.

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

"Goodnight. Get some rest," he said before leaving.

"You too," she whispered.

He had mentioned how happy he and Addison were in their speech and then he mentioned Meredith. Just hearing him say her name still made her heart skip a beat and he had been staring at her through the entire speech. Now she was going to be forced to spend the whole day with him, doing wedding things, wishing that she was the one getting married, and wishing she was with somebody else. She hated weddings.

_**All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right**__**  
I'm tripping on words**__**  
You've**__** got my head spinning  
**__**I don't know where to go from here**_

**Okay! So, next chapter is what you've all been waiting for. I might have it up tonight. If not, definitely tomorrow. I hate New Year's because I never have anything to do and the past couple of New Year's Eve/New Year's Day ****have**** sucked for me. Anyways, you can make today better by giving me reviews!! **

**I had tried to put a link to a picture of Gabe here but it's not working!!! Anybody know how to do that? **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. I just borrow some stuff from it sometimes. **

**Here it is! The moment you've all been waiting for! So without further ado…**

The wedding ceremony went perfectly. Cristina had a minor freak out as the wedding procession began but Meredith got her down the aisle like she had said she was going to and now she was Mrs. Preston Burke. Meredith watched as she and Burke greeted people in the receiving line, Cristina looking happier than Meredith had ever seen her.

"I didn't get to tell you before but you…You look beautiful," Derek smiled, walking up to her.

"Thanks…"I should probably go find Gabe," she said quickly.

"Yeah," he answered dejected.

Meredith felt Derek's eyes on her as she walked away to go found her date. Or her boyfriend. She hadn't officially called Gabe her boyfriend yet. But according to Izzie, bringing him to her best friend's wedding solidified that status. She found him outside of the ballroom, talking to Alex and George.

"Hey you," Gabe said, kissing Meredith on the forehead, "You did great."

"Thanks," she smiled, "I didn't really do anything."

"Well, you look beautiful," he said, repeating Derek's words from minutes before.

"You don't look so bad yourself," she said, leaning into his arms.

"Meredith," Derek interuppted, "Burke wants us for photos."

"Oh. Okay. I'll see you inside," she gave Gabe a kiss that made Derek wince before he placed his hand on the small of her back and led her back to the room where the ceremony had taken place to take photos.

After they had finished with the photographer, the wedding party headed back to the ballroom for cocktail hour and the beginning of the reception. Much to Cristina's offense, she and Burke danced their first dance as husband and wife, before heading back to their separate table to be served dinner. Burke's and Cristina's mother made a toast together, Cristina's jaw clenched the whole time as Burke smiled.

The rest of the party was a success. Even Cristina seemed to be enjoying herself, as the two families came together, dancing and laughing.

"May I have this dance?" Derek asked.

"Seriously?" Meredith raised her eyebrows at him.

"Yeah. Come on," he nodded his head in the direction of the dance floor, "The best man and the maid of honor are always supposed to dance together."

"I've never heard that before," she stood up.

Derek took Meredith's hand and led her to the dance floor, wrapping his arm around her waist. They moved slowly to the music, neither of them saying anything as Meredith rested her head on Derek's shoulder. She felt safe in his arms. She felt like that was where she belonged. It didn't matter that her boyfriend and Derek's wife were watching. She was comfortable. And happy.

"Mind if I cut in?" Gabe interrupted, reaching for Meredith.

"No. Go ahead," Derek responded, not wanting to let her go.

Derek reluctantly let go of her, handing her over to Gabe, before walking over to Addison and asking her to dance.

"Having fun?" Gabe asked, looking around at all the couples.

"Yeah. I usually hate weddings." Meredith smiled, looking over Gabe's shoulder at Derek while he was dancing with Addison.

"I think I'm going to go outside" she said, pulling away from Gabe, "It's really hot. And…I've just…I need some air."

"You want me to come with you?" he asked.

"No. No, I'm fine."

Derek watched as Meredith hurried away from Gabe and out the door to the ballroom. The jealously that he felt from watching another mans hand around her went away as all he wanted to do was make sure that she was okay.

"Yah know what Addie? I have a few more best man things to do. I'll be right back," he told her.

"Okay," she sighed, "Don't take too long."

"I won't," he said, kissing her on the cheek and leaving the ballroom to see Meredith running down the hall.

"Meredith!" Derek yelled, chasing after her.

"Leave me alone."

"Meredith!"

She disappeared into another room but he pushed his way through the door before she could close it and keep him out.

"Leave me alone."

"I just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"No! I'm not alright! Okay. Are you satisfied? I'm not alright. Because you have a wife. And you're having a baby with her. And now you're looking at me. Stop looking at me."

"I'm not looking at you," he continued to stare at her, "I am not looking at you."

"You are looking at me. And you watch me. And Gabe is great. I like Gabe. And I'm really trying here to be happy. And I can't breathe…I can't breathe with you looking at me like that so just stop!" Meredith yelled.

"Do you think I want to look at you? That I wouldn't rather be looking at my wife? I'm married. I have responsibilities. We're having a baby for God's sake. She doesn't drive me crazy. She doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal. She doesn't make me sick to my stomach thinking about another man touching you with his hands. I would give anything not to be looking at you. Not to be wishing I was having a baby with you."

Meredith turned around to face Derek. As he looked up at her it was clear to both of them that the friendship wasn't working. They couldn't do it. There was too much history and too many feelings involved. And before either of them could say anything else, Derek took her head in his hands and kissed her hard, Addison and the baby the farthest thing from his mind.

Derek lifted Meredith onto a desk and continued to kiss her. She ran her hands up and down his back and his chest before sliding his coat off and letting it fall to the floor. He pulled her closer to him as his erection grew and he moved his mouth down to her neck, sucking and kissing her in the places he knew made her go crazy.

He looked into her eyes as he slowly pulled her panties down and left them discarded on the floor with his jacket. Meredith pulled him back up to her lips, kissing him hard as she fumbled with his belt, trying to get his pants undone. He pulled away from the kiss quickly and unbuttoned his pants, pushing them down and began to kiss down her chest, around the outline of her bra.

She pushed down his boxers and their lips met once again as he slowly thrust into her, causing her to gasp. Derek moaned into her mouth as they began to slowly move together, Meredith clawing at his chest and shoulders.

"Jesus Mer," he muttered as wrapped her legs around his back, causing him to move deeper into her.

"Derek…Oh…" Meredith moaned with each thrust.

"God, Meredith," he groaned, concentrating on not finishing yet, just wanting to pleasure her, wanting to stay in her as long as possible.

"Der…" she whimpered as her body tightened in anticipation of her orgasm as Derek kissed her neck.

"Meredith," Derek grunted, as he felt her body tremor below him, her orgasm taking control of her body.

"Derek," she cried as her body continued to tighten and relax, Derek's orgasm overtaking him as he released into her.

She leaned against him, both of them trying to catch their breath and recover from their orgasms, covered in a fine sheen of sweat. It didn't take long for either of them to realize what they had done and what the repercussions were going to be. The only problem was at the time, it didn't feel wrong.

"What does this mean?" Derek asked, pulling his pants back up.

"Uh, I had panties on. Black ones. Do you see them?" Meredith frantically looked around the room.

"What does this mean?" he repeated.

"Fix your tie," she ordered.

"Meredith, what does this mean?"

"You…I have…I have to go," she rushed out of the room.

Meredith hurried out of the room and quickly found Gabe talking to one of Burke's cousins. It was business talk and Meredith didn't want to interrupt. But she had to get out of there. She had to get away from Derek and away from what she just did before she told somebody what she just did or somebody figured it out.

"You okay?" Gabe asked concerned, as he brushed her hair out of her face, "You look flushed."

"I'm fine. Just tired," she lied, "I think I'm ready to go."

"You sure?

"Yeah. Let's go."

The party wrapped up quietly, Cristina and Burke headed up to the honeymoon suite while the waiters and staff began to clean up the ballroom. Derek watched as Meredith left with Gabe, before getting in his own car and leaving with Addison. There wasn't any excuse for what he had just done. Addison had cheated on him and he had been furious. He had moved all the way across the country because of what happened. And now he had gone and done the exact same thing to her. But this time, she was pregnant with his child and the stakes were higher.

_**You're in my arms**__**  
And all the world is calm**__**  
The music playing on for only two  
**__**So close together**__**  
And when I'm with you**__**  
So close to feeling alive**_

**YAY! MER/DER! Okay****. Sex scene.**** How did I do? And…****I stole that whole scene from the show. Well, I changed it a little bit. But I still feel bad for taking it. But it was a great scene and it fit perfectly. ****And the song lyric, it's from E****nchanted. ****Because I love that scene with that song**** and the dancing and everything**** Don't fo****rget to review!**

**I was trying to put links to pictures of ****Mer's**** dress, Cristina's dress and Derek's suit, but for someone reason it won't let me!!! If you want to see, let me know and I can PM it to you. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. ****Shonda****Rhimes**** does. And according to the recent spoilers, she hates us. And I don't hate you. **

**Well I had a major freak out when I read the recent spoilers. I won't say anything because I don't know if you guys have read anything or if you want to know. But I almost burst into tears. That is why I love ****fanfic**** land. It's happy. Or it's going to be. Soon. **

Meredith Grey lived her life under a banner of avoidance. It was what she was good at. Something bad happened, she didn't talk about. She stayed away from it, or in this case who. They're shifts had been at the same times for the past few days and somehow, she had managed not to get put on his service and had managed to stay away from him altogether. But their sex from the night of Cristina's wedding kept playing in her head like a broken record. She had cheated.

"What's wrong with you Grey?" Alex asked, taking a seat next to her.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"You say the word fine so much it's starting not to sound like a word. Come on. Tell me," he leaned back in his chair.

Meredith took a deep breath, "I slept with Derek."

"I already knew that. The whole hospital knows that. I thought you were over him and were doing that Gabe guy."

"Dating, not doing. And Derek and I…"

Alex started to laugh, "That's where you two disappeared to at the wedding. Everybody was looking for you. They thought you had some big surprise from the maid of honor and the best man."

"I'm so screwed,"

"So you did McDreamy. He and the She-Shepherd aren't happy anyway. He probably wasn't getting any at home."

"They're having a baby," Meredith admitted.

"Wow. I can cover the rest of your shift if you want. I was off an hour ago."

"Avoidance. I'm so good at it. Thanks Alex," she muttered.

"Don't mention it."

The last thing she needed or wanted was to run into Derek or Addison in the halls. And now, thanks to Alex being unusually nice, she got to leave early and not have to deal with all the stares coming from the nurses and rest of the interns. It was pretty obvious that something had happened. For the previous weeks, Derek and Meredith had been friends. Chatting in the hallway, laughing in the scrub room, and eating lunch together in the cafeteria. But since the wedding, they hadn't spoken once.

Derek's shift finished up uneventful. He had been looking for Meredith all day, but each time she saw him she would disappear around a corner. They had both been avoiding each other for most of the week but Derek's conscious had had enough and he needed to talk to Meredith. And he needed to tell Addison about what happened. He had been so angry at her for cheating on him and now he had done the same thing to her. But it was different. Mark was an affair. Meredith wasn't.

"Addison, we have to talk," he said coming into the trailer.

"Yeah. Yeah we do…"Derek…there's a chance…there's a chance the baby is Mark's," she said before Derek could reveal his infidelity with Meredith.

He was silent. Part of him had forgiven her for cheating with his best friend. And now there was a chance that she was carrying that same man's baby and not his own child. He didn't feel angry. He felt like he had been cheated. Like he had wasted time trying to make things work with Addison. Time that could have been spent with Meredith.

"Please say something Der," she begged.

"You're pregnant with Mark's baby," he said monotonously.

"It could be…but it could be yours. I had a paternity test run yesterday. I'm just waiting for the results."

"That was 2 months ago. It's been 2 months since you and Mark…" he worked out in his head, trying to be hopeful, "And you're only a few weeks along right?"

"Actually, I'm 6 weeks. But you and I…before you caught me with Mark. So it's possible it's yours."

"I have to get out of here,"

"Derek…Don't leave. Don't walk away."

"I can't…I can't look at you. I look at you and I feel nauseas…I just, I can't…I have to go" he shook his head as he slammed the door to the trail.

He had nowhere to go. He couldn't go to the hospital because he had just come from there. He couldn't talk to Burke because he was on his honeymoon. If something like this happened in New York, he would have gone to one of his sisters. The only place he could think to go, and probably the worst place to go, was Meredith's house. They had been avoiding each other since what happened at the wedding and now Addison had dropped the bomb on him about the baby possibly not being his. And suddenly, Meredith's house was the only place he wanted to be.

Meredith spent the night at home, lying on her bed, Doc's head resting on her lap. Izzie and George had invited her to go to Joe's with them but she was too afraid of running into either Derek or Addison. And her phone kept buzzing with phone calls from Gabe that she continued to ignore. The knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts but she was even more surprised when she went downstairs and saw who was on the other side of the glass.

"Hi," Derek breathed, as Doc wagged his tail, happy to see him.

"Hey."

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah," she answered, opening the door the rest of the way.

Derek didn't say a word as he walked into the house and knelt down to pet Doc.

"So…What does this mean?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know," Derek stood up, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I can't…We can't have an affair, Derek."

"I know," he agreed, "So what do we do?"

"I don't know either."

"I guess we have some things to figure out."

"Yeah. I don't think we should see each other until we do."

"Meredith," he protested.

"We can't Derek. We tried being friends and it didn't work. And I just…Being around you…It's too much."

"What about Gabe?" ask

"He doesn't know," she murmured.

"Oh," Derek whispered, "Well, I guess I'll see you at the hospital."

Meredith just nodded as tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't want to give up Derek. It was one of the hardest things she had ever done. But being around him and seeing him with Addison hurt too much. Even if Derek was the only place she felt like she belonged.

_**And ti**__**me has changed nothing at all  
**__**Y**__**ou're**__** still the only one that feels like home  
**__**I've tried cutting the ropes and **__**and**__** I let you go**__**  
But you're still the only one **__**that feels like home**_

**I think this chapter is crap. Important but crap. But, this is where the timing gets messed up. So let's just say Addison is far enough along to be pregnant with either Mark or Derek's baby and all the other time stuff fits in. ****And…****I know I told some of you the Mark thing wasn't happening. But the more I thought about it, the better I liked the idea. And the other idea…well I just thought it was too mean and sad and would never want anybody to go t****hrough it. So I changed the plot a little. Leave me some love!!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy. **

**Um, have you all seen the new pictures of Paddy for Versace and Serengeti? ****Holy mother of all things hot.**** I have no words to describe how good he looks. **

Mark Sloan was in Seattle Grace Hospital. They hadn't spoken since Derek caught Mark in bed with his wife. And now here hew as in Seattle. Not as surprised as he had been when Addison showed up, but still, it was bit of a shock. The only difference was with Addison there had been vows. He had promised to love her through good times and bad. So they were working on their marriage and taking steps. With Mark, there were no vows. There was no obligation. He had been like a brother. Until he slept with his wife. He didn't get another chance.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Derek yelled.

"Addison called me about the baby. And apparently you're chief of surgery is looking for a new head of plastics." Mark explained.

"She doesn't even know if the baby is yours or not."

"Apparently, she hasn't been telling you everything. She got the paternity test back. The baby's mine."

Mark Sloan was the father of Addison's baby. Derek had been ecstatic when Addison told him she was pregnant. At that point, his and Meredith's friendship was strong and he and Addison were trying. They're marriage was getting better. But now, there was no saving it. He was startled out of his daze when he heard the words of an EMT.

"Meredith Grey. 33 years old. Was T-boned at an intersection. Showing signs of concussion…"

"Mer…" he breathed.

"Looks like you're a little preoccupied," Mark said.

"What happened? How…How is she?" he stammered, ignoring Mark and walking over to the gurney she was on.

"She's been in and out of consciousness. Had some difficulty answering questions at the scene. Definitely a concussion. Scrapes and cuts and it looks like a few broken ribs.

"Okay. We need…We need a CT…and get someone to stitch …Stitch her up…"

Meredith. His Meredith had gotten into a car accident. She was lying on the gurney, unconsciousness and hurt and there wasn't anything Derek could do to help her. None of the doctors would let him near her. He was one of the top neurosurgeons in the country and they wouldn't allow him to help her, let alone see her.

It wasn't along before the Chief heard that one of his own interns had been in an accident and he found himself in Meredith's trauma room in the ER. Derek sitting outside, broken up.

"Shepherd? What happened?"

"You invited Mark Sloan to come here?"

"Now's not the time Derek."

"Meredith…" he said, quickly turning his attention back to her, "She got into a car accident. She has a head injury. I want to run some tests."

"You can't be on this case," Chief said as Derek followed him into the exam room.

"She um…Her blood type…She's AB…She needs an MRI and a CT."

"Shepherd, you can't be in here," Chief Webber stated firmly.

"Just let me take a look at her," he pleaded.

"Out," Chief Webber pointed.

Derek felt like his world was crashing down around him. His wife was carrying another man's baby. He had spent the last month and a half trying to fix his marriage. And now, the one person who he truly cared for was lying on a gurney surrounded by doctors. He couldn't be without Meredith. If something happened to her, he'd be lost. And it was in that moment that Derek realized his marriage really was over. He didn't' love Addison. It was Meredith. From the moment they met, it had been Meredith. And now he was afraid he would never get the chance to tell her.

"Is that Meredith?" Cristina asked.

"She…car accident," Derek slid down the floor, tears streaming down his face.

"Is she going to be okay?" Cristina demanded.

"I don't know. They won't let me near her."

Cristina pushed her way into the room and was shocked when she saw Meredith lying there. She looked so helpless. Her heartbeat was strong and she was breathing on her own but it was still stunning to see her friend hooked up to all of the machines instead of the one interpreting the data on them.

"Why is she unconscious?" Cristina panicked.

"Yang, she's going to be fine," Chief Webber told her, "She's sedated so we can get some scans. But she's going to be fine. You might want to tell Shepherd."

"She's going to be okay?"

"She'll be in pain. But she's fine."

She nodded her head and walked out of the room where Derek was still in the same position as before. He was a mess. Because of Meredith.

"How is she?" he asked.

"She's going to be fine," Cristina answered, "They're going to do some scans but she's going to fine."

Never in his entire life had Derek felt more relieved. Meredith, his Meredith. She was going to be okay. She had a couple broken ribs and was going to be in pain for a little while but when everything healed she'd be good as new. As good as the night as they had met. The night he fell in love with her.

When he went to see her a couple hours later, Cristina, Izzie and George were in her room keeping her company. She had stitches in her cuts but she looked good. She looked happy.

"How are you feeling?" Derek stood in the doorway of her room.

"Pretty good. I'm on morphine." she grinned.

"We should…go," Izzie said, dragging Cristina and George out.

"Can I get you anything?" he laughed.

"Don't need anything except this little button," she giggled holding up her morphine pump.

He walked over to her and brushed her hair out of her face, "I'm glad you're going to be okay."

"The accident was my fault. I wasn't paying attention."

"The important thing is your okay," he stroked her cheek.

"Shouldn't you be with your wife?" Meredith turned serious.

"I was about to head home. I just came here to tell you…I just wanted to say…Now all I want to say is…I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for…ever. I'm a little late…I know I'm a little late in telling you that. I, I just, I just want you to take your time, you know. Take all the time you need, because you have a choice to make. And when I had a choice to make, I chose wrong…All right. Goodnight," he chuckled, walking out of her room.

_**This is my heart bleeding for you  
This is me down on my knees**_

**Honestly, I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I thought it was a good way for Derek to really realize he's in love with Meredith. And Mark showing up…well I just needed him in the story because I love him. And I want him and Derek to be friends like they are in the show.**** Also, I don't mean to make Addison seem like a bitch. ****Because I love her.**** I adore her. So, I'll have to fix that somehow but I don't know how yet. ****I have a busy day tomorrow but nothing planned in the evening so expect an update then. ****I hope you're all liking this. Let me know and review!!!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: If Grey's Anatomy belonged to me, I wouldn't have to worry about how much a pair of ballet flats from Target cost. Instead, I'm a poor college student. **

**The number of hits I've gotten on this story in the past day is amazing. I want to thank the girls at Grey's ****McBoard**** for reading my ****fic**** on here!! That sounds like an acceptance speech. I wish. **

A day and a half was all Meredith spent in the hospital and she was already itching to leave. She saw it all the time, people spending weeks, even months in the hospital. And she had been there for a day and half and couldn't wait to get out. That did have something to do with the fact that everybody in the hospital found out what happened to her and she had had non-stop visitors.

But today she was finally getting discharged. Her head still hurt sometimes and her ribs were sore but she was recovering from her concussion and was definitely ready to get out of the hospital. Instead, she would be stuck at home with Izzie and George. And Derek. Derek had been there when they had brought her to her room. She vaguely remembered him saying he was in love with her. But she wasn't sure if it had actually happened or if it was the drugs.

The doctors were buzzing around here, checking her vitals and doing last minute checks to make sure that she would be okay at home. The nurse gave her meds to Izzie and she was just waiting for final confirmation that she wouldn't have to spend another night crammed in that little room.

"Dr. Grey, you're being discharged today. Strict orders to rest and keep activity to a minimum. I don't want to see you back in here because you reinjured yourself," Bailey ordered as she came into the room.

"Yes Dr. Bailey," Meredith agreed.

"Dr. Stevens will be right up with a wheelchair to take you downstairs."

"I can walk."

"No arguments Grey. I want you back here working as soon as possible and if that means riding downstairs in a wheelchair then you'll do it."

"Ready to go home?" Izzie chimed, as she brought the wheel chair into the room.

"Can't wait," Meredith sat in the wheelchair.

"Feel better Grey," Bailey said as Izzie wheeled Meredith out of the room.

Derek heard that Meredith was being discharged and the only thing he wanted to do was go to her house and tell her that he was sorry that he hurt her. Sorry for all the pain he had caused and that he wanted to start over. He and Addison had talked the day before. It wasn't friendly but they had made a decision that there wasn't anything to reconcile. Their marriage was over. It was sad, but it had to be done. Addison was free to have her baby with Mark and Derek could be with Meredith. All he wanted to do was tell her. Tell her that he would be there for her every day for the rest of their lives.

"Dr. Shepherd, I would guess you're here to see Meredith. But I've been wrong about you in the past" George opened the door.

"It's nice to see you too Dr. O'Malley. And this time you guessed right."

"She's upstairs," George told him.

"Thank you Dr. O'Malley," he yelled as he walked up the stairs.

The walk up the stairs felt like eternity. He ached to take her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her and how sorry he was. He walked up the stairs and saw her curled up on the bed with Doc, reading a book.

"How's the patient doing?" Derek smiled in the doorway.

"I'm a little sore," she answered, putting the book aside.

"So I think we have to talk," he said, coming into the room.

"You said things to me. Big things," Meredith winced as she moved over to make room for Derek.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine. And don't change the subject," she ordered, getting comfortable on the couch.

"I said things to you."

"So I wasn't dreaming.

"No. You weren't."

"Usually I would like those things but you're married. And you're having a baby."

"I'm not having a baby," Derek sighed.

"What? I thought you said…"

He cut her off, "It's Mark's…The baby is Mark's."

"McSteamy's the father?"

"McSteamy?" he laughed.

"That's what Cristina and Izzie and I named him while I was on drugs. Him being in the hospital was big news." Meredith grinned.

"I'm sure he'll love that."

"Does he know that we call you McDreamy?" she giggled.

"I haven't exactly talked to him since I found him in bed with Addison. Apparently, the night they conceived a child."

"You're not having a baby."

"No. I'm not."

"I'm sorry," she breathed.

"You know what? I'm not. As happy as I was when Addison told me she was pregnant, she's not the person I really want to have kids with. I'm just sorry it took me this long to realize it."

"You have another wife?"

"That's cute. You're funny,"

"What about Addison?" she murmured.

"I'm done trying to fix something that's already broken beyond repair. She and I…there's nothing left."

"You're getting a divorce?"

"We're getting a divorce. She filed this afternoon after finding out Mark was the father. All I have to do is sign."

"Are you actually going to sign this time?" she whispered.

"As soon as I get the papers," he answered, taking her hand.

"So what does this…What happens with you and me?" Meredith linked their fingers together.

"It means I'm just asking for another chance. A chance to make things right. You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. Somebody who doesn't complicate your life. Somebody who won't hurt you. I want to be that person. I just need you to let me back in and let me be that person."

"That's cheesy, Der," she giggled, a tear running down her cheek.

"I know," he laughed through his own tears, "But it's true."

"You did hurt me Derek. When you chose Addison.

"I know and you have no idea what I would do to take that back. But I can't. So I need you to just let me show you that I'm here. I'm not going anywhere this time," he wiped the tears from her face.

"It's going to take some time for me to trust you again. We can't just be together like we were before.

"I know," Derek nodded.

"I think we should take things slow."

"Slow," he repeated.

"We should date," Meredith smiled at him.

"We can date. We didn't really do that before," Derek winked.

"We're dating," she giggled.

"Does dating mean I'm allowed to stay with you tonight?" he grinned.

"I think so," she giggled, cuddling up to him.

Dating. They could date. It would be fun. They would get to know each other over again. And Meredith could build up her trust in Derek once again. Until then, lying on her bed in his arms, felt perfect. For once in her life, she had stability. It felt safe and that was all she needed.

_**And the song you sing today wasn't always in your head**__**  
The**__** words you try to say**__** are the ones you should've said**_

**Sorry this is up so late. I had a doctor****'****s appointment about an hour away from home today and then we ended up having people over for dinner. I hate when my parents make plans that involve me.**** And then they bring their 4-year old granddaughter, who I adore but I always end up entertaining her.**** I can't say for sure if I'll have an update tomorrow because it's football day and the Redskins are in the playoffs. I'll try to have one tomorrow night around the same time as this one. Sorry!! Leave me some reviews!!! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy, I probably wouldn't care as much about the fact that my Redskins lost today. But I do care, and I don't own Grey's. **

**My team lost. Don't you hate when that happens? Well, there's always next season. My boys did ****good**** this year. It was a tough one. Enough about that, I just had to…vent. Enjoy this chapter.**

Meredith had spent the night in Derek's arms. She woke up every couple of hours because of the pain in her ribs and Derek would freak out with worry. He hadn't really slept because he wanted to be sure she was okay and that she was comfortable. But it was cute. It was happy. Almost perfect. Despite him not sleeping, he felt rested. With her in his arms, it was like the world stopped. Because she was with Meredith. His Meredith. She woke up with Derek leaning on his elbow, smiling at her.

"Were you watching me sleep?" Meredith yawned.

"You're cute when you sleep," he leaned over and kissed her.

"That's creepy, Der."

"I just missed waking up with you in my arms," Derek grinned, kissing her again.

"You're just full of cheesiness today aren't you," she giggled.

"That was last night," he laughed, "Today begins a whole new cheesiness quota."

"Too bad you have to go to work," Meredith teased.

"I have to go to the trailer and change first. It might look a little weird if I show up in the same clothes as yesterday."

"People will just think you were having hot sex and didn't get a chance to go home."

"Too bad that's not true," Derek pouted.

"I guess so," she shrugged.

"It could be true. But you're just a tease."

"You love me," she grinned.

"I do," Derek said against her lips.

Meredith readjusted the covers in bed to say as Derek got up to get dressed. She watched as he pulled on his sweater and buttoned his jeans, reminding her of the days when they only spent time at her house before he took her to his land and showed her the trailer. That was the night she had really fallen in love with him. Derek finished getting dressed and helped Meredith downstairs.

"How about I bring over dinner tonight?" he suggested.

"I guess so. Unless I get a better offer," she joked.

"You're mean," Derek laughed.

"Bring something good."

"I can do that. Take it easy today okay?" he stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"I will. Cristina's coming over. She has the day off."

"Okay. Well you girls behave."

"What if I don't want to?" she reached up, capturing Derek's lips with hers.

Derek snaked his arms around Meredith's waist as she slipped her tongue into his mouth. She moaned into his mouth and wound her hand in his dark curls.

"Now I really don't want to leave," Derek smirked as he pulled away.

"Go," she giggled, pushing him out the door.

Meredith watched as Derek drove away and then went into the kitchen to find Izzie and George glaring at her. She ignored them and poured herself a cup of coffee as they continued to watch her.

"What?" Meredith looked between the two of them.

"So…Derek slept over last night?" Izzie asked.

"He and I…We're taking things slow. It's just simple and…We're going slow."

"What about the whole he's married thing?" George asked.

"They're getting divorced.

"That's what he told you the last time. And who had to clean up the puke after you got drunk every night for a week?" He pointed out.

"It's…different this time…Addison is having Mark's baby," she coughed.

"What?" Izzie exclaimed.

"Derek told me last night."

"McSteamy is having a baby? And you and McDreamy are getting back together. I didn't see that coming" Izzie added.

"Excuse me while I choke back some…McVomit," George muttered.

"Shut up George," Izzie giggled, "You're just jealous that you're not getting any."

"How do you know I'm not getting…I'm not jealous. And we have to go to work."

"I'm ready to go." Izzie pulled on her coat, "Call us if you need anything, Mer."

Meredith just nodded as they left. Everybody trying to take care of her was nice. It made her feel appreciated and cared about. Something that she hadn't really ever gotten from her mother. But the only person she wanted to take care of her was Derek.

"Thanks for getting in a car accident 2 days after I get back from my honeymoon. Way to ruin the mood, Mer." Cristina let herself into the house.

"Sorry," she smirked.

"What's wrong with you? You're like…happy."

"Derek is divorcing Addison. Everything is bright and shiny."

"Oh God. You're going to be sickeningly happy now aren't you?" Cristina groaned.

"Not sickeningly happy. Just bright and shiny," Meredith smiled.

"I don't think we can be friends anymore, Mer."

"You're the one who's happily married."

"Burke wants me to write thank you notes with him. He says it'll be fun. That's not fun. Valve replacements are fun." Cristina complained.

"I don't think that's so bad. People did give you gifts." Meredith admitted.

"That's because McDreamy's poisoning you."

"McDreamy's bringing me dinner tonight."

"Before you have some McSex?"

"No. There's no sex. We're…taking it slow. No sex."

"That's impossible. You two look at each other and want to jump each other. There's no way."

"I have self control," Meredith argued.

"Okay, Mer," Cristina mocked, "I have to go. Burke wants to go exchange some of our wedding presents."

"Have fun!"

"Enjoy your sex," Cristina yelled as she left the house.

There would be no sex. Old Meredith would have sex with anyone. There was no trust and no relationship. But she had changed. And until she and Derek had their relationship and their trust back, there would be no sex. As hard as it would be to resist him.

_**I wake up feeling like my life's worth living**__**  
Can't recall when I last felt that way**__**  
Guess it must be all this love you're giving**_

**I'm sorry it's kind of short. I think its crap because I'm in a bad mood about the game. But **i**t's**** all happy and bright and shiny and stuff. I love when it's like that. I hope you loved it too. I don't really have anything else to say. Boost my Redskins losing spirits with lots and lots of love and reviews. **

**#21 SEAN TAYLOR **


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: This update is much happier than I'm predicting Grey's is going to be on Thursday. So I don't own it. **

**Sorry for this being up so late. I went shopping this morning and then we had a whole big family dinner and I had to clean my room…and you don't need to know that. But I'm sorry this chapter is late. **

Derek had quite possibly had the longest day of his career. There had been no surgeries. No emergencies. Not even a concussion. Meredith had a concussion. With Meredith was the only place that he wanted to be. Except for a short visit from Cristina, she was home alone, with a concussion and broken ribs. He wanted to call her, but she got annoyed when he did. It was too overbearing. It was too much. Because they were going slow.

He wanted it to go faster. To be officially a couple again. He wanted her to trust him. It was his own fault that she wanted to take things slow. He had promised he was going to leave Addison and he didn't. He had to show her that he would be there, no matter what happened. Baby or no baby. Mark or no mark. Meredith was his. That would never change.

Bringing her dinner was the first step. It was small, but it was a step. He had to do the little things first. There was no grand gesture he could do that would bring back what they lost. And if that's what it took, that's what he would do.

"How was your day?" Meredith settled into Derek's lap on the couch after dinner.

"Uneventful. No good cases."

"Is that good or bad?"

"Good because nobody had a major head injury that required emergency surgery. Bad because it was boring and all I did was check on post-op patients and do paper work."

"Aw. Poor Der," Meredith teased.

"I know something that would make it better," Derek smirked.

"What?"

"Sex," he mouthed.

"Nice try," she giggled.

"It was worth a shot."

"You're not even divorced yet."

"We actually have a meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. Start dividing up our stuff and make any changes to the papers."

"That was quick."

"Well, they tend to move faster when there's a kid involved. Plus, the papers were already drawn up from before."

"Are you going to be okay? With Addison and Mark at the hospital?"

"I'm hoping they'll go back to New York." Derek sighed.

"And if they don't?" she asked.

"Then you and I will have a cuter baby."

"Derek. I'm serious. Will you…will we be okay?"

"I love you Meredith. It might not be easy, but I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"Okay," she breathed.

"Hey. Look at me," he lifted her chin so she was looking at him, "I know I hurt you. I know this isn't going to be easy for either of us. And I know you have to learn to trust me again. But I promise, I'm going to be here. So don't worry."

"Okay."

"What about Gabe?" whispered.

"He um…I broke up with him after the wedding."

"Did you tell him what happened? "

"No. I just told him it wasn't going to work." Meredith replied.

"Even before…Mark and…" he trailed off.

"Even before that."

"So I better make this worth your while?" Derek teased.

"You better," she giggled.

"I will. I promise," he kissed her.

Meredith had to believe him. She had no other choice. She wanted to be with him and this was what it took, she would do that. In the past, she would have run. She wouldn't have the patience or the trust or the faith that things were going to turn out right. But she had survived a car accident. A car accident that had brought her and Derek back together. Or maybe that had been Addison getting pregnant with another man's baby. Either way, faith looked like it was on her side. And she wanted it to stay there as long as possible.

It was like they were given a second chance. Something that not many people got. They both saw it everyday in the hospital. A husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend or even just a friend would get killed, and that was the end. There was no second chance. They'd be apart forever. They didn't get a chance to tell the other person how they really felt or show them how much they appreciated them. But she and Derek had that second chance. Something that couldn't be taken for granted.

_**There's once in a lifetime**__**  
And**__** there's once in a while**__**  
And the difference between the two**__**  
Is about a million miles**_

**Sorry this is short. It's kind of just…filler. I had a lot of stuff to do today and I'm exhausted. ****Plan for tomorrow: I'm going to workout in the morning and then probably going to see Juno with my brother's girlfriend. ****So probably no update until the evening.**** But until then, let me know how much you want more and review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I've wished it was, but Grey's Anatomy is not mine.**

**I don't have anything to say. I worked out. I didn't see Juno. I'm exhausted. Enjoy!**

Meredith had been on leave for 2 weeks. 2 weeks to heal from a concussion and couple of broken ribs. All in all, she as much better. She still got headaches occasionally and if she moved in a funny way her ribs would hurt but she was ready to get back to work. She needed a good night sleep before going back to work, and that was almost guaranteed with Derek in bed with her. He had slept over for almost the entire two weeks. And today was the only day that she woke up to find him not on his side of the bed.

"Why are you up this early? You're not on until 9." Meredith looked up at Derek.

"Meeting with the lawyers. And you're not on until 9 either. Go back to sleep." He said, getting dressed

"Another meeting?" she sat up.

"We couldn't get through it all last time. It shouldn't take too long. I'll be back by the end of rounds."

"It's my first day back," she sighed.

"You'll do fine. Just take it slow, okay? I don't want you to hurt yourself again."

"Yes doctor," she mocked.

"Good luck," he kissed her.

She needed luck. Bailey wasn't one to be easy. Even if somebody had been injured in a car accident and hadn't worked for two weeks and was waiting for her boyfriend or whatever Derek was to get a divorce. Either way, it was better than sitting at home, watching TV all day and having Izzie or George or Derek calling her every five minutes to make sure that she was okay and that she hadn't passed out and hit her head. It felt good to be back at the hospital.

"Dr. Grey, welcome back. Okay, assignments. O'Malley, find Burke, Karev, the new head of plastics requested you, Yang, you're with Shepherd, Stevens, stick with me today and Grey, Montgomery-Shepherd…"You're sure you're okay to work?" Bailey stopped Meredith.

"I'm fine, Dr. Bailey."

"Good. Go."

All the interns nodded and headed off to their various assignments. The faith that had been on her side when Derek came back to her, apparently had gone away and now she was going to have to work with Derek's wife. Or soon to be ex-wife.

"Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, I'm your intern," Meredith reported.

"Actually, it's just Montgomery now," Addison replied.

"What?"

"I'm Dr. Montgomery. The divorce was finalized this morning."

"It was?"

"Derek didn't tell you?"

"No... I haven't seen him since he left this morning.

"I'm sure he's just busy. I bet he's been trying to find you. He loves you Meredith. He didn't love me like he loves you."

"Yeah," Meredith breathed.

She wasn't supposed to find out from Addison. Derek was supposed to be excited about the divorce being done. He was supposed to come up to her smiling and tell her that he was no longer married. That he was free to be with Meredith. That there was nothing left to keep them apart. Except he didn't tell her.

"So you're not married anymore." Meredith found Derek.

"How'd you know?"

"Your wife…Well, ex-wife told me."

"I was going to tell…" Derek started.

"No. Don't do that. Don't start with the lying. Are you in this Derek? Because I am. I'm in it so bad it hurts. And I can't get into it any further if you're not in it. Because you not telling me you're divorced feels like you're not in it. So just tell me now. Tell me if I need to walk away and save whatever bit of dignity I have left."

"Meredith…"

"When you decide what you want, let me know. Until then, just leave me alone"

"Mer. Please…" he tried.

"I have a patient to prep for surgery."

Derek watched as she walked away from him. This wasn't how he meant her to find out. He was going to tell her. He just needed time to process it for himself. Time to think about how his life was going to change. And then it hit him. He was being selfish. He was making everything all about him. He had promised things would be different this time. And she had listened to him. She had agreed to give him a chance. He couldn't help but wonder if he had just ruined things for good.

"How's your first day back?" Izzie asked, taking a seat at the table.

"He's divorced."

"Derek?"

"The divorce was finalized this morning."

"So you're free to screw him all you want. Shouldn't you be happy?" Alex said.

"He didn't tell me."

"Didn't tell you what?" Alex questioned.

"That the divorce is finalized. Addison told me."

" Dude that's rough," he laughed.

"McDreamy. More like McStupid," Cristina muttered.

"I have to go. Addison has a surgery," Meredith groaned.

Cristina was furious with Derek. She had seen how hurt Meredith had been when Addison first came and she was one of the ones left to pick up the pieces and help put Meredith back together. And now he had hurt her again. It was enough and she was going to do something about it. Derek wouldn't hurt her friend again. Not if she had any say in it. Luckily, she was on his service that day, and she as going to take advantage of it.

"What's going on? I had to get my own CT?" Derek chuckled.

"I had a thing to do."

"More important than a patient with a brain injury who needs surgery?"

"I think you're the one with the brain injury," Cristina murmured.

"Dr. Yang," Derek yelled.

"Right now I'm not Dr. Yang and you're not Dr. Shepherd. You're the guy who hurt my best friend. And just when she thought she could trust you, you hurt her all over again."

"I was going to tell her," he whispered.

"Just like you were going to get divorced?"

"This is different."

"No, ya know what? It's not. Because both times, I end up picking up the pieces of my broken friend."

"I'm not going to hurt her again."

"I hope so. Because if you mess up again, it's strike three. And I'll be damned if I let you get to her again."

He should have told her. He should have been honest and not lied to her in the beginning. He should have done what he said what he would do. And now there wasn't anything he could do. Her friends wouldn't let him near her and she didn't' want to talk to him. And now she was working with his ex-wife.

"Why are we removing the uterus but not the ovaries?...Dr. Grey, are you okay?" Addison looked across the table.

"Sorry. I'm fine."

"Then you'll answer my question."

"Um…Could you repeat it?"

"I can't have somebody who is unprepared in my OR, Dr. Grey. Come back when you're completely focused and ready to assist."

This wasn't exactly how she had pictured her first day back at the hospital. Not only had she messed up in the OR and been humiliated in front of the entire surgical team, but Derek hadn't told her that he was divorced. It was easy. Or it should have been. He could have found Dr. Bailey and asked him what Meredith's assignment was for the day, and then found her and told her that the divorce was finalized. But he didn't. It was something small, something simple. And he didn't do it.

_**You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down**_

**So this chapter isn't as bright and shiny and kind of makes Derek look like an ass. But I promise you, I'll fix it. ****Because in my head, he's not an ass.**** He's ****McDreamy****. He's not ****being ****McDreamy**** on the show right now. I am not looking forward to Thursday's episode. Alright, I'm done ranting. Now all I'm going to do is ask for reviews. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy would be on every night if it belonged to me. **

**I'm sorry I didn't have any updates yesterday! I just got really bad writers block. But I'm back today. And maybe with 2 updates!!! Did anybody see Patrick's E! ****True Hollywood Story?**** I don't even know what to say. Except that I'm insanely jealous of Jill. **

Everything felt like it was going downhill and quickly. The second chance that Meredith thought she and Derek got had disappeared. Addison had been the one to tell her about the divorce. It shouldn't have been that way. He should have told her. After the meeting with the lawyers and finding out that the divorce was finalized he should have found her as quickly as possible and told her that there was nothing else in the way. That he wasn't married anymore and they could be together. But he hadn't. And now everything was different.

It felt like she had been punched in the stomach when Addison had told her that her name was no longer Montgomery-Shepherd but Montgomery. That's not what was supposed to happen when the divorce was done. She was supposed to have felt relieved. Excited and happy. Hopeful about the future. That wasn't Meredith. She didn't feel like faith was on her side. And just when she had changed, it came back to bite her in the ass.

And now Derek wanted to come over. He wanted to explain. Meredith was sitting in the living room with Izzie and Cristina when he called. And like an idiot, she had agreed to listen to him. And now he was knocking on the door.

"Can we talk?" Derek asked.

"I don't have anything else to say Derek."

"Well will you at least listen to me?"

"Okay."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. About the divorce. I shouldn't have let you find out from somebody else. I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Meredith…" he pleaded.

"Why didn't you tell me Derek? You were supposed to be happy about this."

"I am. Happy about it. I am."

"Then why did I found out from Addison and not from you?"

"I just needed some time."

"You always need time Derek. Well now I'm the one who needs time. I need some time to decide if this is worth it. Because you keep hurting me. So it's my turn to take time."

"I'll be here. When you decide. Whatever you decide. I'll be here. I'll always be here. I'm sorry...for everything."

"Yeah."

"I guess…I'll see you at work."

"Yeah." She repeated.

"Bye," he whispered slowly closing the door.

Meredith watched him slowly walk down the path and drive away before heading back into the living room.

"Why was McDreamy here?" Izzie handed Meredith the popcorn bowl.

"He wanted to talk."

"He wanted to talk?" Cristina mocked.

"About why he let Montgomery tell you about the divorce?" Izzie asked.

"He says he needed time."

"Again? Isn't that what he said when she first showed up?"

"Yeah."

"So what'd you tell him?" Izzie ignored the TV.

"I told him I was the one who needed time."

"Good for you. Fight the power," Cristina added.

"I don't know what to do,"

"I threatened him today. So you don't have anything to worry about."

"Cristina," Meredith laughed.

"What?" she groaned, "He needs a good kick in the…well you know."

"He's your boss."

"Whatever. He was scared of me. You should have seen."

Meredith didn't finish watching the movie with Izzie and Cristina. Instead, she went up to her room with Doc to study for a big surgery the next day. But she didn't get any studying done. Because everytime she tried to concentrate, the only thing and the only person she could focus on was Derek. He had looked distraught when he came over. He looked truly sorry. And Meredith knew, that he was it. There was no one else to take this place. No on else to make her feel like he did. And she was going to find him and tell him.

She drove up on his land and up to the trailer to see him sitting on the deck, drinking a beer. He was staring into space and had the same look on his face that he had when he was at her house.

"I have something to tell you," she took a seat next to him.

"Meredith…"

"You say Meredith and I yell remember?"

"Yeah," he chuckled.

"I've thought about this. I've thought about this all day. You hurt me. You hurt me like I never knew I could be hurt. But…It's you, Derek. You're it. I'm scared…I'm scared as hell to want you. But here I am wanting you anyway. And fear means I have something to lose right? And I don't want to lose you."

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? I just told you that I love you and…"

"No. Not that," he laughed nervously, "I'm sorry. That I hurt you. That I've put you through all this."

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Come here," he reached for her hand, "What I've done to you. It's not fair. You deserve so much better. And I'm going to get better. I promise. It's just…"

"You were married."

"I was married…for 11 years. It's just a change. A big change I couldn't just do it without feeling. I needed some time to think about it. To process it. But I should have told you."

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't have to think about. If there was no feeling. If you had just left her."

"And you wouldn't be you if you were okay with me not telling you right away."

"Hey," she shoved him, "I can be patient."

"I don't want you to be. Especially not about this.

Meredith didn't say anything. He had said exactly what she had wanted to hear. That he was sorry. That he knew that he hurt her and shouldn't have. That he made a mistake by not telling her about the divorce in the first place. He had said it all. There wasn't anything else that she could ask for. Just for him to be with her. And to be honest from there on out.

"So are we okay?" he brushed her hair out of her face.

"We're okay..."

"But…"

"We're still taking this slow. Slower than last time at least." she told him.

"Okay" he agreed.

"That means no sex…and no sleepovers."

"No sleepovers?" Derek pouted.

"No sleepovers. We're dating. Starting over new."

"What about kissing? Is there a policy about kissing?" he whispered, his lips inches from hers.

"I think kissing is okay," she breathed.

Before she could change her mind, Derek cupped her head in his hands and kissed her. It was like a first kiss. It felt like a new beginning and another chance.

"I love you," he pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you too."

_**And I had my heart beaten down**__**  
But I always come back for more**__** yeah  
**__**There's**____**nothing like love to pull you up**__**  
When you're**__** laying down on the floor there**_

I kind of hate this chapter. I mean I like it but I think my writing sucks, as usual. But maybe you don't! So let me know and review! I might have another chapter later tonight. Not sure yet though. I'm so not looking forward to Grey's tomorrow. I mean I am but I'm not because it's the last episode and who knows what's going to happen with Mer/Der/Rose. Anyways…yeah…review!!


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy, what happened last night wouldn't have happened. Instead it would have ended with Derek asking Meredith on a date and not that horse faced nurse. **

**Grey's made me depressed. So depressed I couldn't right anything yesterday. ****All day.****Because I felt the bad coming and I felt even worse after.**** But I'm trying to have hope. ****Because the ending seemed a little hopeful even though Derek asked ****McHorse**** on a date.**** But when she was talking to Bailey I felt hopeful. Anyways, I'll shut up now and hopefully this will cheer you up if you're feeling as bad as I do about last night's episode. **

Everything was great. Everything was happy. It had only been a week ago since Derek failed to tell Meredith about the divorce, instead letting her hear the news from Addison. But now, they were happy. Meredith was afraid to say it, even afraid to think it, but this felt different. He really had been sorry for not telling her. For hurting her and for letting her find out such big information from the so called enemy.

Unfortunately, that happiness couldn't continue this morning. Because she had to go work. She wished Derek could come over and they could lie on the couch all day in each others arms watching movies. But that wasn't real life. And she had a life saving job to be at. A life saving job that she hated for keeping her away from the man she loved except for brief moments in the hallway and the cafeteria.

And apparently, the job that she hated, hated her too. Because when she got to work, she was quickly informed by Bailey that there was a multiple car crash on the highway with serious injuries, including head injuries. Meaning, she would be occupied with a smaller case while Derek was operating on somebody's brain. Taking away the brief moments in the hallway and the cafeteria.

Meredith was correct. Derek was in surgery. With George. and his mind wasn't completely on the surgery. It was on Meredith. It was on the next thing he could do for her. The next thing he could do to show her how much he cares about her and that he bad a made decision in not choosing her over Addison in the first place.

"I want to do something nice for Meredith," he said over his mask.

"Oh. So you two are…I mean…Back together and the divorce," George stuttered.

"Yes, Dr. O'Malley. We are back together. And I want to do something nice for her. Any ideas?"

"I don't know. I've never been in that situation…"

"You mean you've never been married and had a girlfriend at the same time?"

"No sir."

"Relax O'Malley. You're Meredith's friend. Has she mentioned any gift or anything she wants?"

"No."

"Come on. You live her. There has to be something. We're friends aren't we George? Help me out."

"Friends. Yeah," he murmured, "I don't know. She always says she needs to relax. Maybe a vacation or something?"

"Got it," Derek said as he clipped the aneurysm, "Got it. A vacation. Want to close for me?"

"Okay," he said as Derek left the OR.

Vacation. He could take her on a vacation. Somewhere relaxing. Get her mind off the craziness with Addison and the marriage in the hospital and taking care of her mother in the nursing home. They would go away. She would rest. They would be together. And come back fresh and ready for whatever.

"Let's go away," Derek walked up next to Meredith at the nurse's station.

"Away? I thought you were in surgery. Car crash. "

"I was. Let's go to wine country for the weekend. Just you and me."

"Derek, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I have to work. I just missed two weeks. I can't exactly just go on vacation."

"Get somebody to cover for you. I'll make it worth their while. And worth your while," he winked.

"Derek…Slow."

"I know. But who says we can't take it slow in Napa…Or Sonoma?"

"You can't take it slow. You're like a horny teenager."

"I am not."

She looked at him with raised eyebrows .

"Okay I am…But only with you," he whispered in her ear.

"Derek!"

"What? You wanted me to tell the truth," he smirked.

"I have work to do," she kissed him on the cheek.

"So what do you say? Come with me?"

"Okay," she giggled at his persistence.

"Napa or Sonoma?"

"Sonoma. Smaller hotels. Fewer tourists."

"Which means more time alone," he smirked.

"I'm still not having sex with you," she called as she walked away.

"You say that now…"

He wanted to go on vacation with her. He wanted to take her away so it would just be the two of them. They could get to know each other again. They could talk about what happened with their relationship so that there was nothing else pent up. No feelings that were left unknown. And they would be together. With no distractions.

"I'm going away this weekend," Meredith told Izzie.

"Ooh! Where?" Izzie bounced.

"Sonoma. Or Napa. Derek's taking me."

"That's exciting."

"Yeah. I just have to find somebody to cover my shifts this weekend."

"I can't," Izzie frowned, "But Alex probably will."

"Alex probably will what?" he asked as he walked up to them.

"Cover my shift this weekend."

"What's in it for me?" Alex bit into an apple.

"Why do you have to get something back? Can't you just do something nice for once?" Izzie asked.

"No. Grey, what's the deal?"

"I'll do your post-op's for a month," she grinned.

"Deal."

This would be good. They would go away. She had taken care of the biggest problem which was finding somebody to take her weekend shifts. Doing post-op notes for a month was worth alone time with Derek. It was something that she hadn't gotten a lot of since Addison showed up and even since the divorce because of work. But now they had the chance. In wine country.

_**I'd take another chance  
Take a fall, take a shot for you**_

**So there's a little ****Mer****Der**** goodness for you to override all ****the crappiness from last night. It's not that good because my mind is still on the ****sadness that was last night's episode. ****As for that ****crapiness****, I wrote a letter. ****A letter that I fully intend to mail to Touchstone, ABC and ****Shonda**** And while I can't count on getting feedback from them, I hope I can count on reviews from you!!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy, I would have sent a letter to myself today. But I don't own it and I sent a letter to the people that do. And to a couple other places. **

**I have not****hing to say except that I wish the Patriots had lost and that I want the Cowboys to lose today.****And for Patrick Dempsey to show up on my doorstep.**

Agreeing to go to wine country had seemed like a good idea in theory. And now that she had to pack and Derek was going to be at the house in a half an hour to got o the airport, it didn't seem like such a good idea. She had no idea what to bring. She had never gone away to wine country. She hadn't gone away with a boyfriend. Ever. And now she was freaking out.

By the time she had finished over packing, Derek was sitting in the kitchen waiting for her.

"Here's our flight information. We'll call you when we land." Meredith dragged her suitcase down the stairs.

"Just have fun," Izzie grinned.

"Oh we will," Derek wrapped his arms around Meredith's waist.

"Not that kind of fun," Meredith added.

"We'll see about that," he laughed, kissing her neck.

"Get out of here," Izzie giggled.

The flight was short. Insanely short. But it felt like they had been driving for hours. Derek had wanted to rent a car and take the long scenic route to get to their hotel and Meredith was regretting agreeing to that. There was nothing but trees around them and it didn't look like there were going to be anything but trees for miles. And now she was beginning to think they were lost.

"Derek, are we lost?"

"No. We're not lost. We have about a half an hour until we get there."

"Shouldn't you have GPS? You're head of neurosurgery. I think you can afford GPS."

"I don't need GPS. And this is a rental car. They usually don't have GPS."

"Then why are we in the middle of nowhere?"

"Because this is how you get there."

"Sorry. I've never done this before."

"Gone to Sonoma?"

"Gone away with a boyfriend."

"That's because before me you didn't' have boyfriends. You had one night stands."

"Shut up."

"Don't tell me shut up. I'll leave you out here in the middle of nowhere," he teased.

"You'd miss me too much."

"I would."

It felt like it took forever but they finally got to the hotel. It was beautiful. Clearly, Derek had picked the fanciest of the hotels in the area. Their room had a fireplace and gigantic tub and they had an unbelievable view of the vineyards.

Their room wasn't anything compared to the restaurant. Dinner had been amazing. The food was delicious and the win was unbelievable. It wasn't tequila, but it was good. It seemed like every waiter and waitress in the place knew Derek. And they were doing everything they could to make sure that he and Meredith were taken care of. They got a complimentary dessert and kept coming over to refill their wine.

She hadn't asked him but by the way they were treating him it seemed like Derek had been there before. Several times. He had probably brought Addison up here when they first got back together or came up here when he first got to Seattle. She remembered him mentioning wanting to come here.

And now he wanted to talk. On the drive up, they had both agreed that it was a good idea to get all their feelings out in the open. Meredith had put it off as long as possible. She had suggested going to dinner and taking a walk but now they were back in their room and there was no escaping it.

"Remember the night we met?"

"Of course I do. Best night of my life."

"Cheesy, Der."

"We are in wine country. Wine and cheese go together."

"We are Joe's. And you came over to me and asked me if it was a good place to hang out."

"And you ignored me."

"But you wouldn't give up."

"And then you took me home," Derek smirked.

"I'm beginning to regret that decision."

"Never."

"Never." she cuddled closer to him.

"Do you like it here?"

"It's beautiful."

"I knew you'd love it," he smiled.

"Can I ask you something?" Meredith asked.

"Anything."

"Why did Addison cheat on you?"

"I was just a little…absent. We both opened our own practices and they became priority. Our marriage came second. We wouldn't see each other for days."

"And then you found her in bed with Mark?"

"And then I found her in bed with Mark."

"Then why'd you pick her?" Meredith breathed.

"My family always taught me about marriage and how sacred it was. They didn't believe in divorce. And when Addison showed up here and wanted another chance, all I could hear was my Dad's voice in my head. I couldn't give up. But I should have realized that there was nothing left. It was beyond repair."

"So they'd probably hate me for breaking up your marriage."

"They'd love you Mer. I can't wait for you to meet them. I know that's a long way off. But I can't wait. It'll be just like when Mark came home. Except you won't sleep with my wife."

"You never told me how you and Mark met."

"We were little kids. I brought him home and my mom immediately took him in. He didn't have the best family life so he became part of ours. And now we can't get rid of him."

"It sounds like you miss him."

"He was my best friend."

"Then why don't you talk to him?"

"Because I can't promise that I won't punch him."

"Derek," she giggled.

"I'm serious," he laughed.

"So then Addison could punch me?" Meredith joked.

"Why would she?"

"Because I slept with you when you were still married to her."

"That was different," he sighed.

"How?"

"Our marriage was already over. We didn't want to admit it. But there wasn't anything we could do."

"But you still had to stay her."

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Mer."

"It's okay."

"No. It's not. I promised you something when we met. And I broke that promise. And it kills me that I hurt you."

"But you promised Addison things too. When you got married."

"Yeah. What I didn't realize was when she cheated on me, those vows didn't mean anything anymore."

They talked all through the night. Meredith told Derek how much it had hurt her that Derek chose Addison in the first place. And he continuously apologized and told her he wished he could take the decision back. It felt better. It felt like everything was out in the open. There was nothing pent up, no anger. And now they could just enjoy their vacation. Sex or no sex.

_**I just **__**wanna**__** start again  
And maybe you could show me how to try  
Maybe you could take me in  
Somewhere underneath your skin**_

**I'm sorry this wasn'****t up earlier****. I wrote it and it was crap and I don't want to give you guys crap. So I rewrote it. ****I'm still not completely happy with it but anyway. ****Hope you like it. ****It's happy and sad and cute all at once. ****Let me know ****what you think ****and review!**** I might have another update later tonight to make up for not having one every day. I've just been really busy. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Grey's isn't mine but I borrow from it occasionally. **

**I sent my letter in to ABC, Touchstone, and ****Shonda****. And I signed a petition. ****Which you all should sign to.****Because the show, is nothing like this update.**

Considering the heavy discussion they had, the night went well. The air felt easier and there wasn't any more tension between the two of them. And now all they were focused on was waking up in each other's arms, next to the fireplace and looking out the window at beautiful view they had of the vineyard. And the only decision to be made was how to spend the day. There were no surgeries to worry about or patients to check on. It was all about them.

"I love it here, Der."

"Hmm. It's amazing isn't it?"

"It is. I don't ever want to move."

"Maybe you should have picked a less demanding job."

"Says the head of neurosurgery."

"Right now, I'm considering calling Richard and resigning."

"You love your job."

"I love you more."

"Cheesiness, Der. Trying to cut down on the cheesiness," she giggled.

"I'll show you cheesiness," he grabbed a pillow and hit her with it.

"Oh. You want to play that game."

"I do," he hit her again.

"Derek!" she squealed.

"You started it."

"I was the pillow fight champ when I was a kid," she stood up on the bed.

"Oh really?" he grabbed her legs and pulled her down.

"Really," she captured his lips in a searing kiss.

"That's cheating."

"I'll show you cheating," she wiggled out from underneath him, "I'm going to take a shower!

Much do Derek's dismay, she refused to let him get in the shower with her. So they showered separately and got ready to go out. The weather was great and the sun was out. They never got days like these in Seattle so they wanted to take advantage.

"So what do you want to do today?" Derek asked as he finished getting dressed.

"Wine tasting," she grinned.

"I should have known," he laughed.

"You're always complaining that I drink too much tequila. Wine isn't tequila."

"Tequila is disgusting."

"It's amazing."

"After you have this wine, you won't want ever want tequila again."

"I doubt that. Tequila is my love."

"I thought I was your love," he pouted.

"You are."

"Oh good. I was worried that I had to share you with Jose."

"Never," she giggled, kissing him.

"That's a relief."

"I love you Derek," she stopped walking and kissed him.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"For bringing me here. For being you."

Derek just smiled, "Let's go taste some wine.

5 hours later and too many glasses of wine to count later, they were both buzzed. Meredith had convinced Derek to buy her a bottle of each of her favorites, despite his arguing that it would be in the cabinet behind the tequila forever. They ate dinner, along with more wine before heading back to the hotel for the night.

"I believe you are drunk, Dr. Grey."

"No I'm not," she tripped over a chair as they walked back into their room.

"Yes you are. And it's adorable," he laughed as she fell over.

"Okay. Maybe I am. But if I am you are too. You drank just as much."

"No. I actually did what you're supposed to do at a wine tasting. You drank everything you tasted."

"It's no fun if you don't actually drink it."

"It's not wine drinking. It's wine tasting," he teased, walking over to her.

"But I wanted to drink it."

"You know what I want?"

"What?" she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"My girlfriend. Naked. In. The Hot tub," he said in between kisses.

"Will you be naked too?" she grinned.

"Yes you goof."

"No sex."

"I know," he rolled his eyes.

"Aww. Poor celibate Derek."

"You're evil."

"You know that saying about waiting and things being better…Good things come to those who wait!"

"Well, I don't want to wait any longer to get in the tub."

"That, you don't have to wait for."

Shedding their clothes as fast as possible, Derek ran a bath and they both got in. Meredith leaned back against Derek and it wasn't longer before they were kissing and Derek was kissing her neck and was going way too far than Meredith intended.

"What did I say?" she asked, feeling his erection against her back.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Seriously?" he repeated.

"Seriously. We're taking it slow," she groaned.

"Mmm," he kept kissing her neck, "I can take it slow. I can take it incredibly slow."

"Derek," she squirmed, "We're starting fresh."

"And starting fresh means no sex because?" he sucked on her earlobe.

"Because we started with sex last time. And it didn't go so well. Plus the waiting is fun. And we need fun."

"Drunk Meredith is no fun."

"I'm not that drunk. And you love drunk Meredith. I was drunk Meredith when you met me."

"That's right. You took advantage of me."

"No I was the one that was drunk so you took advantage of me," she splashed him.

"Mark would have been proud of me. Before I met Addison, he was always trying to get me to hit on drunk girls in bars."

"And you didn't?"

"You were the first. And the last" he laughed.

"You weren't the first one to hit on me."

"If any guy ever tries to hit on you again, I'll kick their ass."

"Protective Derek is hot," she turned around pressing her breasts against him.

"Now you're just being tease."

"Sorry. I'll go."

"No. Get back down here," he pulled her back down on top of him.

"The water's getting cold. Let's go lie in front of the fire. Naked."

"I think this is naked night," he stood up, wrapping a towel around her and them one around himself.

"I like naked night," she grinned.

"Me too," he laughed, before throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her into the other room and laying her on the bed.

"Guess what?" she asked, rolling on top of him.

"What?"

"I just decided that the rules need to be changed."

"Oh really?" he smirked, "And may I ask what those changes are?"

"Sleepovers are now allowed."

"Well that's good. Considering we had one last night."

"And other activities," she kissed down his chest slowly unwrapping his towel, wrapping her fingers around his penis, "Are now allowed."

"God Mer," he gasped.

She kissed the inside of his thighs and his balls before slowly moving up his shaft and taking him into her mouth. She ran her tongue lightly around the tip and massaged his balls with her hand.

"Jesus," he moaned as she ran her tongue up and down his length.

She continued to move her mouth the head of his penis rubbing her hands on the inside of his thighs. She sucked lightly on the tip and kept eye contact with him the entire time as he came into her mouth.

"I love you," he leaned his head back, trying to catch his breath.

They spent the rest of the night making out like teenagers until they fell asleep. It had been an amazing day, just spent with each other, thinking about each other, and not worrying about anything else. A vacation had been exactly what they need. Sadly, the next day they had to go back to reality. Back to the crazy and hectic life that got them so stressed out in the first place.

_**Tomorrow I'll be lying under you  
With a heart of gold and arms to fall into  
I know that there might come a day  
Where my life is through  
But I just want to be closer to you**_

**This update makes me smile. It's cute. And hot. Or at least I think it's cute and hot. Do you? Review!!!!!!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Borrowing some lines or scenes or whatever, doesn't make me own Grey's. I wish I did, but I don't. **

**Who's excited about American Idol? I am!! On a more serious note, ****I feel like less people are reading this story than before. ****Are you not liking**** it anymore? Let me know and I'll do what I have to do so that you enjoy it. Or I'll end it if you think it's gone as far as it can go. Let me know. Until somebody says stop, I'll continue. ****Until it comes to an end.**

"Can't we stay longer?" Meredith complained.

"If you didn't have to work and I didn't have to work than yes. But we both have to work."

"I hate work," she pouted.

"I do too. But we'll come back."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now come on, we're going to miss our flight."

Leaving sucked. Sonoma was amazing. It was beautiful and it was everything they had needed. It was relaxing and calm and perfect. And now they had to go back to Seattle Grace, the gossip capital of the country. And actually do work.

"How was it?" Izzie pulled her scrub top over her head.

"It was amazing. And romantic and beautiful and I wish we could have stayed longer."

"How was the sex?" Cristina asked.

"I told you. We aren't doing that."

"You didn't have sex with him?" Izzie asked with a shocked look on her face.

"No."

"I'm like a proud mama."

"That doesn't mean we didn't do other things."

"Okay. Way too much information."

"You asked."

"And you over shared."

"Over shared about what?" Alex interrupted.

"Meredith's sex life," Cristina laughed.

"I'll listen," Alex smirked.

"Shut up. There's nothing to talk about."

"Oh. That means there's so much to talk about," Cristina mocked.

"Derek and I aren't having sex. The end."

"I don't want to hear about anybody having sex with anyone," Bailey groaned, "What I do want is you guys to take your assignments and not complain. And not get reports from the attending that you're slacking off. You hear? Grey, you're with me. Karev, Sloan, Izzie, go with Burke, Cristina, Montgomery-Shepherd, and O'Malley, you get the pit."

They should have stayed in Sonoma. Instead of lying in front of the fire, taking baths with Derek and tasting, she would be following Bailey around for the day. Taking orders, filling out charts and running labs. The life of an intern. An intern sleeping with an attending.

"Good morning, Dr. Grey," Mark smirked, approaching Meredith as she filled out charts.

"Dr. Sloan."

"You're ignoring me."

"I'm working."

"With Dr. Bailey. When you could be working with me. Making people pretty."

"Too bad Bailey doesn't change her assignments." Meredith smiled slightly.

"You've got an attitude. I like it." Mark smirked, "We'd make a good team."

"Oh really?"

"Really. You're hot. I'm hot. Together, we can make people even hotter,"

Keep your hands off of her," Meredith heard Derek yell.

Before he knew what he had done, Derek had punched Mark in the face. He hadn't even touched her. Derek had seen that. But that didn't matter. His hand was throbbing and Mark wasn't in great shape either. It was like high school all over again and everybody had gathered around to see what was happening. Mark had his hand over his eye where he had gotten hit, and Derek continued to steam with anger.

"You want to try that again?" Mark approached him, recovering from the pain.

"I would love to," Derek brought his fist back again.

"Derek! Stop it!" Meredith got in between them.

"Just get away from my girlfriend!"

"Derek, calm down."

"What is going on here?" Chief Webber asked.

"He attacked me," Mark said.

"And you slept with my wife. Now you're screwing with my girlfriend."

"Derek. Go to your office. Now." Chief ordered, "Grey, make sure he's calm down before he comes back out here."

When Derek saw Mark with Meredith he snapped. He had already taken one woman away from him. And that had ended up being a blessing. Because he met Meredith. But he wasn't going to do it again. Meredith was his. Mark had no business being around her. And now he was the one in trouble. The one getting yelled at by the chief and sent to his office like a child.

"We were just talking," she whispered, closing his office door.

"I don't want him anywhere near you."

"We work together. I can't not be around him."

"Dammit," he muttered, slamming his fist on the desk.

"He's a good guy, Derek."

"I can't believe you're defending him,"

"I'm not defending him. I think you owe it to you're friendship to give him a chance. Listen to him."

"Give him a chance? He had sex with my wife. And now he's flirting with you. I'm not going to give him a chance. If he so much as looks at you, he'll have two black eyes."

"We work together," she repeated.

"Not if I request you on my service every day."

"Derek, you can't do that."

"You want to be around him?"

"I'm an intern. I can't choose who I work with Derek!" she yelled.

"This…This is unbelievable," he muttered, storming out of his office and slamming the door.

This wasn't the Derek that Meredith knew. Derek didn't act like this. He wasn't angry. Or violent. But right now, he was being angry and violent. He had punched Mark and now he was screaming at her. Telling her that she couldn't be around Mark or even work with him. She had never seen him act like this. He hadn't been this upset when Mark had shown up and told him that Addison was pregnant with his baby. This time he was trying to protect her. When she didn't need protecting.

"I heard about the fight. Who won?" Cristina asked.

"Shepherd decked Sloan. And the chief sent him to time out." Alex explained.

"Shepherd's an ass," Meredith groaned.

"This morning you were telling me about your sex life and now he's an ass?" Izzie questioned.

"Yes. He's an ass. A big huge ass. Who's trying to tell me who I can and can't talk to. He has no right. He said he was going to request me on his service everyday to keep me away from Mark."

"That wouldn't be so bad. Sloan makes you get his coffee. And his dry cleaning. I'd much rather spend all my time with Shepherd."

"That's not the point. The point is…Okay. I don't know what the point is but he has no right to do that."

"He's punching people out for you. You should be proud," Alex laughed.

"I'm not proud. He's an attending not an 8 year old. He shouldn't be punching anybody."

He was protecting her. It was cute. Sweet, even. But he shouldn't be hitting people. And especially not other people in the hospital. And not when it was unclear when the chief of surgery was going to retire and the race for chief would heat up. Hitting another staff member probably didn't get you recommended to the board to be chief. And now she had to talk to him. Tell him he couldn't do that again.

But she wasn't exactly sure he was going to come. The last two weeks he had been at her house everything until she went to sleep. The rule had been no sleepovers but he had stayed until she as in bed. But now she didn't even know if he would come. Because he had screamed at her. He had accused her of taking Mark's side. And she had screamed back.

"You're here."

"I'm here."

"Yeah."

"I was a jerk. Sometimes boyfriends can be jerks. It doesn't mean you stop talking to them. You get that I'm saying I'm sorry, right?"

"You yelled at me for no reason, and you walked away. And now you show up here."

"Of course I showed up. Why wouldn't I? You don't trust me? When we were in Sonoma you said…"

"I do."

"Well this is how it works. You fight sometimes, and somebody apologizes."

"Well how am I supposed to know that?"

"You've never done this before."

"I've never done this before."

"Hmm. Okay, alright. Well this is…From now you on, you can expect that I'm gonna show up. Even if I yell, even if you yell. I'm always gonna show up. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Do you forgive me?" he kissed her forehead.

"I forgive you."

"I have no right to tell you who to see. Or who to talk to," he sat down next to her.

"You being that angry, Derek…It scared me."

"I don't know what happened. Just seeing you with him…I couldn't help it."

" Just promise me that you'll never do that again…Get that angry. I don't remember much but before my parents split up…My dad would yell…"

"I'm sorry, Mer."

"Just don't do it again. Okay?"

"Okay."

_**You know exactly what to do**__**  
So that I can't stay mad at you  
**__**For**__** too long, that's wrong**_

**I'm going to be completely conceited and say that this chapter is awesome. I love it. It's great. However, I regret to inform you that I won't have an update tomorrow. That's why I made this extra long. I have a doctor's appointment and then I have to work out and then I have this thing to go to that I really don't want to go to but I get paid for it. ****But definitely something on Thursday.**** Don't forget to review!!!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: It's obvious by this chapter that I don't own Grey's. Because this hasn't****happened in a while. Or at least we haven't seen it.**

**Sorry I didn't have anything last night. I actually ended up having minor surgery at the doctor. I had to have a mole removed in case it became skin cancer. I just wish it had been McDreamy or McSteamy stitching me up. But I'm fine. And I have an update for you!**

Derek felt terrible about what had happened. He hadn't controlled himself. He had snapped and punched a fellow surgeon in the middle of the hospital. He was supposed to be a role model to the interns. Especially to Meredith. And instead he had disappointed her. Scared her. Upset her. Lucky for him, she understood. But what he didn't understand was what she was asking him to do.

"Will you go talk to Mark today?" she grinned.

"Can't. I have surgeries all day," he lied.

"No you don't."

"Okay. I don't. But I don't want to talk to Mark."

"Derek, if you guys don't' talk you're not just going to end up in the same situation as yesterday."

"Not if he leaves and goes back to New York."

"I don't think that's going to happen, Der."

"It could."

"But it's not."

"But it could."

"Okay. I'm not having this argument."

"You're no fun," he teased.

"Yeah, well until you talk to Mark, you're not getting any fun."

"You're withholding sex?"

"I'm withholding sex."

"You can't do that. You've already been doing that."

"But I'll do it for longer."

"You are an evil, cruel woman, Meredith Grey."

"Talk to Mark."

Talk to Mark. She kept repeating it. Talk to Mark. He couldn't say that he wasn't going to hit him again if he saw him. It had made him so angry to see him with Meredith. But she was probably right. If they didn't talk about, it would just happen repeatedly. And for somebody who was trying to become chief of surgery, getting into fights wasn't an option. So like it or not, he had to talk to Mark.

"How's your eye?"

"It's a good thing I'm a plastic surgeon."

"Yeah," Derek laughed.

"I wasn't hitting on Meredith."

"I know. She told me."

"I may be guilty of flirting with her, but I wasn't hitting on her."

"Quit while you're ahead, Mark."

"I didn't come here to piss you off, man. Addie called and I felt like I had a responsibility. With the baby. And part of me hoped that you and I could patch things up," Mark admitted.

"Wow," Derek chuckled.

"I wish I could take that back."

"Yeah. But you can't."

"No. But maybe we could get a drink sometime."

"Yeah. But not today," Derek walked away.

He wanted to go home. To Meredith .Where he belonged. She had been so upset when he had yelled and screamed. She had said she was scared. He never wanted her to be scared of him. And she had been so adamant about him talking to Mark. And for her, he had done it. It hadn't been bad. There was a hint of their old friendship. But it wasn't anywhere near to being back to what they had before.

"I talked to Mark," Derek climbed into bed.

"You did?" Meredith turned to face him.

"I did. And he was…Mark."

"What does that mean?"

"He was immature and his mind was in the gutter."

"So are you guys okay?"

"I wouldn't say that yet. But we're not going to have another punching match in the middle of the hospital."

"That's a relief."

"But I think he's starting to rub off of me."

"How?" she laughed.

"Because my mind is in the gutter too."

"Really?" Meredith rolled on top of him."

"Really," he groaned, feeling his erection rise.

"Hmm. Well, maybe I can do something about that," she whispered in his ear.

"Meredith…"

"I think its time that the rules change."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," she grinned, lifting off her shirt.

"I love you," he said, taking off his own shirt.

"I love you too," she giggled, working to get his pants down.

"God," he muttered, pushing off his pants and pulling Meredith back on top of him.

"I missed this," she breathed, taking off her own bottoms.

"You have no idea," he muttered, taking a nipple in his mouth.

"Derek…Der," she gasped wrapping her hands around his length.

"Mer...I need you…" he begged.

"Me too…I need…Now," she pleaded.

"Now," he repeated, slowly thrusting into her.

"Derek," she moaned.

"You're roommates…What…Is this okay?" he stuttered.

"I don't care. God, Der," she answered.

"Good," he thrusted into her harder.

"Oh god," she gasped, her hips bucking against him.

"Mer…Shit," he breathed.

"I…Der…Oh…" she muttered, tangling her hands in his hair.

"Jesus," he moaned, rubbing his fingers over her nipples.

"Der…God…Oh…" she groaned, her body tightening around him.

"Meredith," he gasped, quickening his movements as he felt his body start to shake.

"Derek," she screamed, as her orgasm took over.

"I can't…Shit," he shouted, releasing into her.

"Wow," she breathed, "Wow."

"Wow," he repeated, stroking her head.

"Can't…No words," she whispered.

"No words," he echoed as she relaxed against him.

"Izzie and George…Might be mad," she giggled.

"I don't care" he laughed.

"Me either," she said, trying to catch her breath.

_**I've always paid attention to your point of view**__**  
But now I want to focus on the rest of you**_

**Weeeee! Haha. I'm such a dork. Was that a good sex scene? I'm so self conscious about writing them. But I hope you liked it. I'm starting to write a co-write a fic with somebody,**** that's why this update is kind of short. But you should**** look for that too. But don't worry, I won't give up on this one. I might have updates a little less often, but it'll be here. Let me know if you liked this and review!!!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I can't think of anything creative to say so, I'll just say I don't own Grey's Anatomy. **

**I just want to apologize in advance for how all the timing in this story is messed up. So I'm going to try to clarify what's going on in this update, and, I don't know, let's just pretend I didn't screw it up and ****I'll try to do better next time. ****But just go with it. Please. **

4 months. They had been back together and officially a couple for 4 months. And everything, to say the least, was great. Derek practically lived at Meredith's house. Except for the few nights when they went to the trailer to escape Izzie and George. Everything was stable. The trust in their relationship had been rebuilt. Of course, there were fights. And then there was make-up sex. But all in all, everything was happy. And they were Meredith and Derek again.

The only difference between their previous relationship and their current one was this one was serious. They talked about the future. About weddings, marriages, dream houses and kids. Everything that Meredith would have run away from before, everything that she would have been scared of, they talked about. That's not to say it didn't still freak her out a little. But there was something about doing it with Derek, and being with Derek, that made everything seem easier and made it all seem right.

Not only were they happy within their own relationship, but Derek and Mark had some kind of weird pseudo friendship. They managed to co-exist in the hospital without yelling at each other or giving each other a black eye. Meredith had even managed to convinced Derek to go out for drinks with Mark and talk about everything that happened before he came to Seattle.

Even Addison and Derek were able to peacefully co-exist. Addison was 7 months pregnant and glowing. Huge but glowing. The baby was healthy and Mark and Addison had decided to not find out what the sex was and be surprised. Derek even seemed excited about the baby. He still considered Mark this brother. So Derek was going to be an uncle. An uncle in unusual circumstances, but still, an uncle.

The only standing in the way of perfection, or close to perfection, was Meredith's intern exam. It was coming up and apparently Bailey had scared all of the interns into starting to study extremely early. Derek had told her not to worry about. That she had nothing to be scared off. But she had still started studying, which led to Cristina, Izzie, George and Alex all gathering in the living room and Derek complaining about not having his girlfriend to himself.

"Hungry?" Derek put the groceries down on the kitchen counter.

"Hmm," she chewed on the cap of highlighter.

"Are you hungry?"

"Hmm," she repeated.

"I'm going to back to Addison."

"Okay."

"Meredith," he laughed.

"I'm sorry. I'm just…And Bailey said we have to study early. And everybody else has the day off…So I thought, more studying alone…But now, you're here," she finally looked up from the book, "You were joking about Addison right?"

"Yes, I was joking. And you need to relax."

"I can't relax. I have an exam that's going to determine my career. If I don't past, I have to be an intern again. And I can't be an intern again Derek. I mean, intern year wasn't the best. I just…I need to pass this."

"You're going to pass it. You're a great surgeon, Mer. Bailey's just being Bailey and trying to scare you."

"Yeah, well it worked," she started flipping pages in the book again.

"I know something to relax you," he smirked, starting to kiss her neck.

"Did you know Callie, that ortho chick, has cards? Famous cards. Studying cards.

"I heard that rumor," he sucked on her earlobe.

"Derek," she leaned her head back against his chest, "I have to study."

"Everybody needs a study break."

"I know," she whispered.

"So take one."

"Maybe I will," she stood up, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I think you should."

"Do you?" she started to unbutton his shirt.

"I do," he replied, his erection brushing against her.

"Upstairs?" she giggled.

"Upstairs," he agreed.

After tripping over many steps, lots of laughing, and shedding clothes along the way, they finally made it into Meredith's room and into bed. Derek had definitely been right.

"This was a good idea," Meredith murmured against his lips.

"I told you," he said, moving his mouth down to her breasts.

"Der…Oh," she gasped as he took her nipple in his mouth.

"Slow," he said, moving his mouth over to her other breast.

"Slow," she repeated.

"Slow," he said again, kissing down her stomach, and beginning to stroke her with one hand.

"Shit," she muttered, feeling him against her, "Der…Derek."

He continued to kiss down her body, moving to the inside of her thighs and continuing to lightly stroke her until she couldn't take it anymore. She pulled him back up to her and kissed him hard, her hands tugging on his curls.

"Please," she begged, as her words were interrupted by the phone ringing.

"Ugh," Derek groaned, grabbing the phone and handing it to her.

"Hello?...Are you sure?...Okay…I'll be right there," Meredith hung up the phone, "I have to go."

"Seriously?" Derek groaned as she rolled out from underneath of him.

"Seriously. Izzie and George need a ride. They got a flat tire."

"Why don't they call Cristina?" he pulled her back down.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," she giggled.

She was going to kill Izzie and George. Literally kill them. She had been so stressed out and trying to study for her life changing test and Derek had showed up and finally found something to relax her. And they had to get a flat tire. Usually, a flat tire wasn't somebody's own fault. There was a nail or a piece of glass. She hated that nail or that piece of glass.

"Why couldn't you guys just call Triple A?" Meredith slammed the car door.

"Izzie said we should call you," George said.

"It's your fault we got the flat tire," Izzie protested.

"How is it my fault? I just said…" he argued

"You're the one who said the tire didn't need any air. I told you it did. And you said no."

"Wait," Meredith stopped them, "This is your fault? I…Derek…Seriously?"

"It wasn't my fault," Izzie defended herself.

"Call Triple A," Meredith groaned.

George just glared at Izzie as he dialed Triple A on his cell phone. Meredith was angry. Almost furious. She wanted time with Derek. She had been working her ass of at the hospital and studying like crazy and they finally had the house to themselves. And Izzie and George decided not to add air to their tire so that she would have to go pick them up on the side of the highway. She dialed Derek's number to tell her she was on her way back.

"Hello?" he groaned.

"Hi," she giggled.

"You owe me. You owe me so much."

"I know. Well technically, Izzie and George owe you…"

"I want you. Or I wanted you. I had to take a cold shower. Twice."

"I'm sorry," she laughed, "I'll make it up to you."

"You better," he smirked.

_**It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real**__**  
I like the way that feels**_

**Again, I know the timing is messed up. Because ****all the**** sudden there at their intern exam almost. But things needed to move faster. And I apologize profusely for the confusion. This is my first ****fic**** that really required a story line. And I butchered it. But I hope you still like it! REVIEW!!!!**


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